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NRE And Quantifying Love I like what RedPepper said about the "New Toy". I'd have to agree that what you're going through sounds a lot like NRE brain chemical overload. These are real drugs, and should be respected in that light. They make small things seem wondrous and cloud the issues that...

Welcome! Welcome to the forum!

Introversion and Extroversion When my wife and I tried poly we kept it fairly close to the vest. I did this mostly for my wife's benefit as I value her piece of mind and really wanted her not to get hurt if at all possible by negativity. We did discuss and prepare for the possibility, and...

Feeling Good When my wife and I tried poly briefly, it did, for the most part, bring us a lot closer to each other. We communicated more, we were even more intimate, and our sex life was enhanced. Some of this was shared excitement, some NRE. In the end, our poly "experiement" ended with the...

Primary, Secondary, etc... In my situation, should it ever go in the poly direction again, there'd definitely be a distinction between my foundational relationship and others. I do not think I could possibly compare an 11 year relationship built on trust, communication and commitment, to a new...

I've read research, which I will try to dig up, suggesting that depending on the area, as many as 5-10% of married couples engage in some form of "swinging"-type activity. Many swingers actually have more than trivial relationships with their other partners. The line becomes blurry.

Absolutely! Of course, false claims of intention are not a poly issue. They're a relationship issue in general. In poly, there's a chance that if you get burnt you'll have your other lover(s) to go to for support and love.

Justificinationess... In some cases, yes. In some cases, no. Depends on what the person seeking sex defines as "rewarding." NRE+sex is one flavor, long-term love+sex is another. Both have different rewards, and neither is necessarily a bad thing. Gross generalization. Those types of people...

Emphasis on Sex I don't see anymore need to justify "poontang" than I would to justify scrapbooking or racquetball. If you break it down, making a new, close friend has few real differences to making a new, close lover: Both can take time away from your primary lover Both can have...

Don't I Know It Very, very true. Not that it's entirely related, but long ago, when I was a bachelor, I had an experience trying to date multiple people at the same time. I tend to think analytically, and I figured that there's X amount of time one must invest before one can determine if a...

Time is Finite, but Shareable No. Nobody's brain can handle the number of people you're talking about here. However, the likelihood that you'd find that many people compatible enough to build substantially deep relationships with seems like a long shot. But that's just me. I'm picky. For...

Supplement or Complement.... Or Both? I would say both. But wait, you cry, does that make your soulmate lacking? No, and I'll explain. Everyone's different. There's music my wife likes that I generally don't see the appeal to. There are books I read that she doesn't care to tackle. There are...

I do not see it as attention, but rather hollow flattery. How can one cherish you when they must hide you. How can someone be proud of you when they must hurt others to be with you. Rita deserves to be cherished deeply, and I've always been more proud of Rita and our relationship than most...

Just Desserts We just had a talk about the feelings that Rita has that made the idea of being with these men exciting. I am a little at a loss when trying to relate, though I do really want to see her side of the equation. On my side of the equation, the idea just scares me, for the...

That's good to hear. Please don't take what I said negatively; it wasn't meant to be a slam at all.

Floodgates I have read this thread with some interest. Many of the things you are going through, and the reactions you are having, are very similar to the ones my wife went through when we experimented with polyamory a while ago. Having said that, I can possibly relate a little to what Tess...

Couldn't Help Myself http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39qdhbkTko4 Sorry, I couldn't help myself. All in jest!

Logic and Emotion Since my wife and I have been to the moon and back on this topic, I thought I'd throw in my 2 cents for what it's worth. I have been described as "hyper-logical" by more than a few people, referred to as "Spock" by a therapist we'd seen, and generally see myself as a...

Um, Wow? I agree on some of your points disillusioned, mainly that: Human behavior is, by virtue of a very deep biological imperative, driven to procreate, and usually not monogamously. The traditional sanctioned monogamous marriage model has some fairly dismal statistical success Our...

Swinging... I can imagine the frustration that you might be feeling in your situation! However, talking about swinging implies some things which may not always be true. For instance, some "swingers" may as well be called polyamorous because they have built a more emotional connection that...