TruckerPete
New member
I'm down stairs discussing what my wife really wants, FWB vs true poly and I burst into tears!! Me! I've just spent the last 10 minutes weeping like a small child and i don't even know why. I haven't done this in...years? I thought i was doing so well, now I just feel broken and alone.
I came upstairs to my office and closed the door so that I don't hurt my wife. I don't want my pain becoming her problem. Fuck me I really am on my own here.
just had to document this as it happens, i have a tendency to minimize.
You've been going through a LOT, talking with your wife and processing internally. Sometimes we just cry, and that's healthy. Enjoy the release if it happens again and don't read too much into it.
Don't shut your wife out ... Your hurt IS her problem. She needs to see exactly where you're coming from, so that she can appreciate all the growth that's happening within you and exactly what you're doing for HER.
When Indigo and I went through our growing pains, he had some pretty intense fears. We both calmed our fair share of tears. I reassured him many times that I loved him and wasn't going anywhere. Sometimes when he'd ask me these things, I would have to ask if I'd done something wrong, because I was trying my hardest to be loving and supporting and he was still hurting. Yes, this was frustrating. But, he in return made sure I knew that I hadn't done anything wrong; he was just working on his own insecurities.
Seeing exactly what he went through allowed (and still allows) me to better anticipate his needs. When he asks "silly" questions (Do you still love me? Am I still interesting?) I know it's not me, and if I don't know for sure, I ask. He's able to reach out for reassurance without sitting and stewing on things because he doesn't want to ask a question or express a feeling that appears to come out of nowhere. It doesn't come from nowhere. I've seen his journey - and I feel pretty damn lucky to have someone with me who's been willing to work that hard.