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I am so sorry. It sounds like you are thinking clearly. The important thing at the moment is you and the children. I echo ClockworkDragon in regard to hoping he will still make the kids a priority for their sakes. If this is his bid to be free of responsibility, he might not though. I know...

While it could be any number of things, I am wondering if it could just be difficult for him to express himself through email and text. I've known some wonderfully intelligent people that had dyslexia or were poor spellers that made expressing themselves in the written word arduous at best and...

You don't have to trust your metamour; you have to have trust in your partner. What do you fear happening?

It sounds like you are finding those who are polysexual versus polyamorous. It's easy for the lines to get blurred because most people who are polyamorous are polysexual (unless they are asexual), but a lot of people are monoamorous and polysexual and are not looking for a deep connection. So...

I don't know your friend, but the lack of discussion between them before you and he shared sex would make me uneasy as well. It makes it seem as if her encouragement was based on something she was feeling at the moment rather than a definitive concept. One thing I learned is to listen...

Could be that A has grown and is now able to form a deeper connection - but easier to do because the patterns of the relationship with T have not yet been set. Maybe she is able to bring aspects of his personality to the surface that he has not experienced before. Could be NRE, and...

I totally understand your sense of grief. You logically know he is not rejecting you. If anything going to counseling indicates that he values you highly. However, your emotions are interpreting it as rejection. I went through a similar thing when our triad disintegrated due to an inability to...

It sounds like excellent progress - in spite of the grief. I understand from personal experience. I will share later. Now I need to go to work. One thought before I leave: it sounds like Steve is monoamorous and polysexual given that he is not able to balance two intense relationships at...

While my situation would currently fit the default societal view of what is normal, I have never hidden who I am from people I consider friends. If they get close enough to be a friend, they are entitled to know all of me. If that were to drive them away, then it's good that we both know. You...

Every relationship is different, and while some comparing is normal - the other relationship allows you to see yours from a different perspective - it is important to consciously catalog the positive aspects of your relationship, instead of focusing on the lack. All of that said, if find what...

I am a bit confused as to why your husband does not want another child, but is okay with you and your bf having one. Given that you live with your husband, he would still have to contend with all of the things having a baby brings to the household. As to your questions concerning your...

I believe some people confuse polyamory with polysexual. It is likely that the majority of polyamorists are also polysexual (unless they are asexual) as love is often expressed through sex; and likewise sex can propagate love. However, people can be monoamorous, but polysexual - having a deep...

I understand. I self-identify as "what works." I am capable of doing either with the right personalities. Right now, the Philosopher and I are doing mono - but he is still healing from a divorce and not always fully emotionally available even to me, much less anyone else. Due to our joint...

I think a lot of the trouble people have with accepting that their partners may want other partners in addition to them comes down to self-identity. It is ingrained in our society to see ourselves as one half of a couple, to subsume our individual identity for a shared identity with another...

I think a lot of people (myself included) struggle with the idea "can I be this or that?" (in this case poly or mono) always phrasing the question relative to someone else. In your case Arlo vs that exciting potential other. I think it is important for each person to figure out who s/he is...

You know, it's hard to really fathom crazy until you experience it. Sure, we all understand that people like this woman exist. But it's really hard to understand that she plotted for a year, played the role to gain their trust, only to reveal her true self after moving in. We would all like to...

I would say then it is imperative to analyze the risk. Here is what I lost: 1. My friend's friendship - her choice not mine. 2. The relationship I had with her children. 3. My sense of well-being. It took me 3 years to recover from the depression, sadness, and grief. Here is what they lost...

Polyamory - the ability to romantically love more than one. Some people feel a significant difference between romantic love and friendship love. I can't help you there, because I am not sexually attracted to people who I dint first see as friends. It's kind of all on the same spectrum to me...

Perfect.

In your shoes, I would be done. Your hurt is normal - but it appears that N is not willing to do what it takes to keep up the relationship with you. She seems to have veto power. Sigh. That said, I expect he will find that P has a problem with any woman he tries to date. I am sorry.