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I can certainly relate to that feeling/belief!! At the same time....healing is healing. The good news is that she has healed enough to be able to engage in healthier relationships, including those of a sexual nature. The "bad" news (in terms of the feelings you're struggling with) is that she...

Well I kind of dropped back for awhile because I'm not really sure if my potential poly relationship is a "go" or " no go". And, I tend toward monogamy.

On Facebook, the female part of my couple has "It's complicated" for her "Relationship Status." He has "In an open relationship". I'm "Single".

Does someone have to be "perfect" in all aspects of their life/personality/etc. in order to be lovable/loved/desired? My first husband had his master's degree, as do I. He was employed in a "professional" job, as am I. He, however, made 2/3rds more money than me because of the very different...

Thanks for the reminder and support, FireChild. I do deserve it! I have a lot to offer the right person(s) and relationship(s). :D

No I didn't bring up the hospital incident. By the time we finally got to talk it was long done and over with...and I hate dragging up the past. Part of it is my struggle with asking for help. I have old messages running around in my head about being "too clingy" or "too needy". No one...

In general women tend towards communication and cooperation. (Females language skills tend to develop at a younger age then males.) Men have been more geared towards competition. (Testosterone is alive and well, in addition to societal conditioning.) I recognize that this does NOT apply to...

When I stop and think about it...I have a couple of good female friends who live near me and I didn't have to ask them or tell them I wanted/needed them to come and see me in the hospital. And....we have never discussed what our wants and needs are as friends related to when one of us is ill or...

I don't have any suggestions for you tinylove, but certainly can relate. My guy and his partner live 7 hours away from me. When we're together (which is very rare...so far about once every 2 months for a few days) it's so very good. But in the "between times" it's soooooo hard.

I appreciate your feedback LovingRadiance. I know that I, too, would give either/both of them priority if there was a family or health emergency. And...yes...I, too, would hope that poly would be an opportunity for more support...especially since he's referring to us potentially as a "family"...

So very true Karma.

Well....he and I finally had a long talk about our relationship dynamics and poly. It came up when I had the opportunity to interview for a job that could involve me relocating close to where they live. (We've discussed this as a possibility, in theory, in the past.) What I'm finding out is...

Thanks r.p. Anytime I can learn about something that expands the heart is positive.

I must admit I'm starting to feel more like a "plaything". Even after calling him earlier this week and telling him I'd like to talk about some concerns I had about poly and our relationship but that I knew right then wasn't a good time (they were just finishing up a sporting event her son was...

Just a thought....but maybe you'd do ok as a "secondary" in a poly relationship. It would allow some level of relationship while giving you some independence and freedom.

My couple lives a little over an hour outside of LV, and I live in Mormon heartland "Utah" (although I'm not Mormon)......So you just never know!

Thanks rp and AT for your thoughtful responses. Yes, it is a fairly new relationship. I met the guy online through a dating site in Nov., 2009. (I had never heard of polyamory until meeting him.) We had reg. emails and phone calls ( a few calls included her, his "primary" partner) before...

You hit the nail on the head for me! I keep asking myself if I'd accept this type of response or behavior from a monogamous partner....and I have to say I'm not sure I'd find it desirable in terms of having someone who wasn't more turned into my needs or who would at least ask what I needed...

WEll it's possible he hates hospitals.....but since's he's a nurse and she's an EMT I don't think things medical bother them in general! ;)

I hope all goes well for you. Thank goodness for our HP!