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Classic addict behaviors, through and through. I've lived with one, and I have worked as a therapist with several. Get thee back into some therapy ASAP. You're exhibiting relapse behaviors. It sounds like you've worked hard in the past to stop the negative behaviors, but ran into triggers you...

BFT.....I can soooooo relate. The guy who introduced me to the concept of polyamory was with another partner at the time. I specifically asked him how one ever found adequate time to meet partners' needs since I found it challenging enough to have adequate me time, couple time, parent time...

Ah... yeah. What she says?????????!!! :confused:

Awakeandready, as I've been reading back through all the posts, it strikes me that you seem to be the one taking the majority of the responsibility for making sure that everyone else in the relationships doesn't get their feelings hurt, or not get their needs met, or are "protected" from...

Are you sure that you don't want a "label"? The word "partner" came up twice in this part of your discussion.

I had a guy I met through an online dating site. We lived in different states so wouldn't be meeting in person anytime soon. He asked me about my bra-cup size fairly early on. Now, mind you, I had two full body-shot photos with my profile, so he had some idea of my shape/size. I'm not...

Whoa there... You were the one who stated that the original idea all of you had was to be on even footing. Now you're saying that won't ever happen because you and your husband have spent four years building your relationship and she's only 7 months in. To me, that's like saying that I couldn't...

Were you coming into this relationship with the understanding that you would be in more of a "secondary" role? Regardless, NO ONE deserves to be laughed at! I stepped into an established poly MF relationship with the clearly stated and agreed-upon expectation that I would be treated as...

It could be that hanging in there, as he is asking, would only serve to delay them having to face and deal with their relationship issues. If he has you waiting on the side, instead of moving things along to be with you, he might just delay making some difficult choices/decisions. If he doesn't...

Poly or not....I would find this person's behaviors overwhelming and intrusive to my boundaries. It has the feeling of trying to "buy" friendship instead of "earning" it by getting to know each other over time (IF that's desired by BOTH of you.) There's nothing wrong with trying to be friendly...

So....what does he intend to do about that as it relates to his interest in polyamory?? From my experience, one had better be well grounded before stepping into the polyamory "arena". Juggling multiple schedules, relationships, needs, etc., doesn't just happen on its own because it "sounds...

It sounds like part of the challenge is that your husband, and you, really like that "rule/boundary-breaker" aspect of your husband, but not when it comes to the relationship between the two of you. It can sometimes be challenging to allow the expression of a part(s) of oneself in one set of...

I can't speak for how other men and women go into relationships, but he and I had talked about what all three of us wanted in a relationship. We were all looking for a loving long-term relationship with a core poly-family. They had already attempted this with other people prior to my coming...

I was "invited" to step into a previously existing poly-couple relationship. He was heterosexual, she was bi-sexual and I was heterosexual. So, basically it was a V when I stepped in, although it was "open," such that any and all parties were free to establish other relationships. (I wasn't...

Sorry about your loss....It's ok to be upset you lost her AND be glad she's gone. :( It's hard when we do our best to openly and honestly communicate with someone only to find they weren't playing by the same "rules".

Polycouple......I was in a poly relationship for a short time with an established couple. It wasn't a triad in that he and I were a couple and he and she were a couple. She and I weren't. Anyhow, I moved to be closer to them and because I wanted to live in a warmer climate. I spent the first...

ClariceK, off-topic comment here: I have experienced and been treated for clinical depression for years, and I'm also an outpatient therapist. While I like that you take responsibility for giving your therapist way too much power, your THERAPIST has a professional responsibility to be in better...

I agree with peabean, having been one of those people trying to fit in with an established couple. In our case, it wasn't a triad per se. He was the hinge. He and I were heterosexual and she was bi. She and I were friends, but nothing more. I had never heard of polyamory prior to meeting him...

Having raised two sons I know it's hard to think about entrusting your little one to a teen-age babysitter....BUT...if you don't keep your marriage healthy and intact it can be harder parenting a child in an adversarial household or through a divorce. One thing I found helpful was to have a...

Songs that could be added to Polycards: "I wanna hold your hand...hand...hand...hand...hand......." Or "I wanna hold your hands........" (The Beatles. polyfied!!)