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Well, that's part of the problem. He has no idea! Really, the only exposure he's had to this is from some guy friends in open relationships, who seem happy. (Mind you, he's never talked to the women in these relationships to see how they feel about it.) That, and he's just had a desire to date...

Something you should know about me: there aren't a lot of fish in the sea for me. I am a misanthrope who finds it extremely hard to meet people I connect with and also respect. I haven't met someone I've wanted to date in ten years. So is it any wonder I want to try and see if this works? I'm...

Ok, thanks, Gala. Those should be some great places to start.

Yes. Those are all things I've thought about (and he hasn't). But I'm a very thorough person and don't want to step into something I haven't fully explored. And that's why I'm here asking you guys how you deal with those situations.

We've already crossed the friend-zone line. I wouldn't just be able to "hang out" with someone I'm attracted to. That holds no use for me anyway. I'm there for the intensity and connection, and for me that happens through physicality. The trust is not there yet because we haven't had enough...

I would say I'm the first. I wouldn't call myself poly friendly, but maybe poly accepting. Like I said, I don't really care what he does, as long as my needs are met, and at this point, that's not a lot. The problem is, this guy has a habit of inventing scenarios/fantasies in his brain and, by...

Well, that's the feeling I had, but I figured if there was a way to be safe about it and we had certain rules in place concerning that, I could be ok. The other thing I'd really like answered is: what is the best way to jump into this with no primary relationship? Or is it better to start with...

I'm mono, and not poly, and so for this to work for me I'm going to have to get what I need out of it or it's not worth my time. The guy is 43 and so I'm expecting him to be an adult and deal with this stuff himself. I don't want to be involved. It just feels like all the poly relationships...

I'm not understanding why some of my posts/threads get published right away while others say a moderator has to approve them?? What gives??

He took it as a compliment? Why? Doesn't that mean you're thinking about the other guy when you're with him? Seems like that would be insulting... and marginalizing. I can understand slipping up and calling someone by your ex's name, though. Sometimes that muscle memory is hard to undo.

This is a guy whose never done this before but is interested in having multiple emotionally connected relationships at the same time....long term. From all the research I've done so far, I haven't seen this setup. There usually seems to be a primary relationship where there's a lot of trust and...

I'm trying to come at this more like how you provide consequences for children. Not necessarily punishment but something that's motivating enough for them not to want to break the rules because they would be missing out on something they enjoy very much. The boundaries I've come up with so far...

I've recently reconnected with someone from my past and we are really hitting it off. We've spent two weekends together so far and it's been great. I haven't been in a relationship in 10 yrs and I'm not necessarily looking for one now. But I feel like I could commit to seeing him once a month...

I was asking because I'm contemplating getting into a relationship with someone who wants to try poly but hasn't done it before. I am a mono, I guess. I have no desire or intention of seeing anyone else. I want to try this so I am able to spend more time with him. I believe there will need to be...

So you've both discussed your boundaries and created a set of rules you both (think) you can live by. What happens if one of those rules is broken? Do you also work out a set of consequences to go with those rules?

I'm curious about something when you have several dedicated couples going. Say your mate is having some stress in one of his other relationships. Do you feel that when he comes home? Does it change the quality of the time you spend together? Is he distracted and therefore cannot be as intent on...