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My advice would be to make sure he knows exactly how you feel before you get married. If he feels marriage is worth entering into, given his (new) understanding of what marriage to you entails, then go for it. ETA: No point in entering a marriage when you know there are going to be issues...

:) thanks and I hope it helps, but we shouldn't suppose any beauty conveyed by printed words extends to their author unfortunately; perhaps because like any beast I've been obsessed with beauty all my life, or more properly with truth, the unadorned image of beauty (somewhat like the picture of...

Don't want to make this about me so will try to put "Naive" and "Everything" into a nutshell--unfortunately little chance it will be brief. "Naive" refers to relationships, specifically the psychology of people in a relationship. My psyche was bent by an intuitive, liberal and artistic mother...

The stresses in your marriage sound similar to those that just about ended mine at approximately the same stage. We managed to muddle through another couple of decades only by thinking considerably outside the box (more like a coffin) we'd built for ourselves, only at which point light began to...

You seem to be describing what I found to be probably the most frustrating episode of the longstanding and ongoing relationship with my wife--a period of years when she was either unwilling or unable to communicate (as opposed to merely talking). Hard to say now how much I contributed to the...

Little of substance to add after informed remarks by the others, except perhaps that your feelings seem understandable to me--or at least familiar, having some experience after 35 years of marriage with a number of the psychological depths a couple can plumb, qualified if not disqualified by the...

Thanks--it was interesting to watch such a broadbrush documentary on the heels of an artistic vignette more or less on one aspect of the same topic--my wife & I watched "Brokeback Mountain" into the wee hours last night For what it's worth this is my abbreviated initial reaction to the...

:) For anyone who happens upon this thread (including mods), by replying to ISportsNutritionist I may in fact be succumbing to Rule 14 ("Never argue with a troll -- it means they win", even if in this case "they" is a bot), except I'm compelled by Rule 21 ("It is delicious trap. You must hit...

Thanks for the welcome & the book reference. Please forgive me if I seem cold, long time in the wasteland but warming up already.

I'm a strong-willed straight mono male almost 60, burned out after a couple of careers in science and industry & now a painter (watercolour) daytrading spot currencies for spending money, married over 30 years to a strong-willed straight mono female approximately the same age. I'm here trying...

Hi khas. I said hi to justlost earlier and am glad to see this post. I'm similar to you but not yet out (and perhaps not soon)--we're still declared mono. My problem is waiting up (now that she knows I don't like to watch) for my wife to telegraph her feelings when it's date night for her and...

Hi justlost. I joined after lurking here for a few years for essentially the same reason as you--trying to understand what's happening--except that our roles are reversed. I recently broached the subject with my wife of more than 30 years, not helpfully summarizing us as "non-practicing poly"...