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Good questions. No, there were no magic bullets. After Celia moved out, I spent six months figuring out what I wanted and my priorities. Celia had wanted to continue a relationship with me after she moved out but I was feeling too hurt and rejected. Without getting into it, we had never really...

that's what they tell me! Yes, there is a growing romantic relationship between Bea and Celia. And, in my discussions with them about this, neither of them considers themselves "bi" per se as a general orientation. This appears to be specific to the two of them and it is somewhat surprising to...

I've been on the forum for quite a while but my situation has changed a lot over that last year so I thought I would reintroduce myself. Over the last five years, I was in a polyamorous relationship with Celia. But in July of 2015, we separated after a long year of discussions and counseling...

I had this experience although not nearly as strongly as you describe. In particular, I met one of my partner's lovers and perceived him to be, to put it kindly, an idiot, a clod, a knucklehead and I could not stand to be in the same room with him. Initially, I wondered how she could like this...

I'm looking for advice on how to break up well. My primary and I have been together six years now and I think our relationship as primaries is coming to an end. I'm not going to get into the details of why this is happening. At this point, we love each other but things have changed and neither...

Not surprised he didn't get it I'm not surprised that he didn't realize what was going on. My partner and I have a lot of vanilla friends from our previous lives. We don't evangelize but we don't hide it either and our partners come to parties. I remember once someone asking me how I met Kate...

My experience... I have been on both sides of this. When we first started our poly lifestyle, to help me deal with my concerns and issues, my primary decided that she would be ok for me to date women and she did not date for a while. Once I had the experience of having a partner and...

Social support is critical for depression recovery. Is there anything you can do to build up your social support network?

I appreciate your difficulties in this situation. I am in a primary relationship and have a secondary girlfriend. My girlfriend and I have had some similar issues. For us, communication and clarity are really important. I don't buy the "that's the way guys are". Relationships take work. It's...

You might check out the "I don't like my metamour" thread as a start. I feel your pain. I have had the issue of "If him, why me?" with one of her bfs that I dislike. But I don't deal with him and I've come to terms with the fact that she does like him.

Yah. I think we are in violent agreement here. Good example of what she modified to help address the situation from her side. Just as a side comment - C doesn't share sex details with me until/unless I ask (and everyone consents) but otherwise we keep each other in the loop in detail.

Comparing is based on our insecurities In a perfectly logical world, probably nothing is wrong with compare & contract. Unfortunately, I don't think most people including myself are quite so perfectly logical. I believe that in many contexts it is simply wallowing in one's insecurities. I...

It sounds like you have some good communication going on. And it is great that you are both willing to be so open. You're not alone. There is rarely a perfect match in sexuality between two people. As to whether you should go out - you'll get differing opinions here. Distracting yourself...

This is the disturbing part of your message for me. He is not communicating honestly. He just happened to forget mentioning this other person? And getting married to a mono while being "poly" with you doesn't sound poly at all - more like he wants to eat his cake and have it too. It doesn't...

I guess I'll add that C & I started as swingers. We moved to an open relationship as we become more comfortable with loving independently of each other. My relationships tend to be longer and more intimate than C's (interestingly we were mutually envious of each other's relationships). A few...

Currently I am the hinge of a V with M & C. C has various less-serious relationships mainly with T1 & T2. M is a new relationship but more serious than others I've had.

I've noticed that I tend to focus on differences that I perceived as "faults" (or insecurities) in myself. He's younger, more buff. So while she perceived her size as an issue, I certainly did not. It's all worked out quite nicely.

We tend to show others how we love them in the way that we would like to have it returned. In my relationships it has been important to identify "what makes me feel loved and secure" and express those to my partners. Not surprisingly, we all have different ways of expressing and receiving...

To me, it sounds like you did great. For us, our rule for anything preceded by "I'm not sure how to say this..." is "Spit it out and get it on the table", we'll withhold judgement and figure out what it means together. Writing it down is always good. It's ok that she was upset or hurt, the...

I agree with ColorsWolf completely. Answering many questions (several hundred minimum) and weighting the important answers as Mandatory are really important to making the site work for you. OKC is probably the best site I've ever used (but I'd still recommend Meetups over it).