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I'm working on the healthier mindset, being more respectful to myself, not investing any more energy in someone who clearly is not willing to invest more energy in me. Spending less time with these folks is an option, but part of this configuration works because they are willing to converge at...

Thanks Kevin, for being so understanding, for so clearly reiterating the issues I'm grappling with. This is exactly it. I don't know. I know I should should, but *will* I be able to? Can I stop myself? I'm trying to reframe my thoughts, perspective, feelings, so that I can approach this...

Thank you both so much. These are all things I've thought and considered about the situation but hearing them from others really helps. I need to figure out how to get better at boundary setting. How to have higher standards in who I choose to be attracted to, or at the very least who I pursue...

Thanks for your reply GalaGirl. I know this is sound advice and the right thing to do. Give things time to heal, move forward. I'm having trouble with the emotions in the *now* It doesn't help that there's still just lots of flirting going on. It doesn't help that letting go of him means taking...

Hey folks! I'm back! I was here around six years ago in a horrible poly-hell situation that so many people helped and supported and advised me through. I'm currently going through an experience that's triggering a bunch of my baggage/trauma from that time and I just re-read that thread to try to...

Yay! So nice to hear. Enjoy!

Thanks guys. Hope things are well with you Natja. :)

I've been doing a lot of reflecting and I have decided that, aside from my own insecurity, my biggest barrier to self actualization is being with Garth. I think the only way I can cope with him quitting on me, on us, when the going got tough (I mean, I just had a baby and there are three other...

Thank you so much. I'm glad you succeeded and I hope I can as well. I have to. I have friends I can reach out to. I have over the past months, and now that things are clear, I can start making steps forward. I'm scared, but I will make it. It is going to be painful to live with someone I resent...

Well, things have come a long way since I last posted. G has decided to end our romantic relationship because he can't fulfill my emotional needs and it's destroying me. We never had wild chemistry or a deep connection. We were always good friends and a good team. Hopefully we still can be. So I...

I just wanted to let you guys know, things have been going really well. The NRE is calming down, which is obviously making things easier for me. Helen and I are communicating better and our relationship has improved a lot. I think I am better at dealing with her moodiness because of this. It's...

Thank you for affirming that I have the right to ask that. I am doing a lot of soul searching today and realizing that I have a pattern of not being firm and explicit enough about what I need, and then feeling like a victim when I don't receive it. Or feeling like I don't have a right to demand...

Hi guys, I'm back.... I considered posting in a new thread, but since I am still writing about my feelings re being left out of the NRE, I decided to just post here again. Since the last time I wrote, Garth, Helen and I have slipped into a fairly stable orbit. They were doing a good job...

If they are having a baby now, I am out. I have made that very clear and will stick to my guns on that one. I will not be their nanny and am not a willing to coparent their child any time soon.

Yes, absolutely. That is exactly my plan.

Sorry, baby brain. I also meant to say in response to that quote Yes, it's easy for me to forget when things are good again how bad they JUST were. But I haven't forgotten this time. It will take a lot of action to make things better, a lot of work. I am trying to be optimistic right now, but...

I do have a plan. I have friends I can turn to. I can still get financial support from my parents, just could never live with them. There is social welfare, food banks, low cost housing. I have a big safety net. I know I will be ok if I have to leave. I got dramatic and defensive in response to...

The tone here is very different from the past week of tumult right now. I realize there is no reason to believe they will continue to honour our agreements, as they have broken them in the past, but I am trying to remain optimistic. For the past two days, I have been treated well, felt my needs...

Can you ask him for some more support? I see many parallels between our situations (partner(s) wrapped up.in NRE, feeling neglected, jealous, pregnant, one bio kid two step). My coparent's NRE partner is in my house and is my girlfriend also, so I recognize the dynamic is a different beast but I...

I understand your frustration. If you're sick of hearing about it, don't read the thread. If everyone echoed your sentiments i would not be continuing to post here for support and suggestions. You've made it clear how you feel, but you are one of many people participating in this thread...