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I would love to have that conversation, GalaGirl. I would have liked for it to be tonight. Instead, Helen came home at 9, and sulked til midnight, at which point Garth and she went for a walk to talk. About 15 minutes later he called me and told me to try talking with her. She seemed upset I...

I mean, I care about these people. I don't mean to demonize them. I'm just frustrated and upset and feel blamed for all the problems in the relationship. At the moment, I feel calmer. Garth is making an effort to cheer me up and make me feel loved right now, and that's helping. I know this...

That could be, BG. Obviously, I can't call her on it. It's not something one would admit to if one were doing it. Whatever the reason, it's one thing to feel an irrational biological imperative to reproduce, another to act on it and enter a family of 5 (soon to be 6) after a few short months.

THIS. Yes.

Thanks guys. It helps not to feel so alone. And BG, 'helpless' I think perfectly describes where I am at right now emotionally. That's what this feeling is and why I keep freaking out. There is little I can do and I'm so frustrated.

BoringGuy, I know! I feel like I'm the only one being an adult about this, and considering my state, that does not bode well. What about the 3 current kids? Adding Helen as another parent in the household might be easyish with my son, as he is only 2, but the others are older, their parents...

Thanks for the breakdown, GalaGirl. I'm just seeing your reply now. While ECP is still an option, I don't feel like it's for me to even suggest. Not my body and all that, and H probably wouldn't go for it anyway. She wants his babies. We are all going to talk tonight when the kids are asleep...

They're caught up in the NRE and not thinking straight, obviously. They have acknowledged this. But if this baby happens, you're right, there's no stopping it from continuing. There's also no way of knowing if he's going to meet someone else down the line and start making babies with her too! I...

Thanks Kevin. I am focusing on my situation and not whether FMF triads 'tend to fail' or not. I went and talked with Garth this afternoon. Nothing is resolved. I don't feel better. He agrees that it was crazy and rash, but was pretty unapologetic. I don't know what I expected. He says he still...

I can't imagine that uprooting my life and going on social assistance, or moving into a women's shelter, would be better than staying in this difficult situation. I have considered it. I don't have enough work experience or a strong enough skillset to get a good job right now, nor can I even...

Well, it's only been two months. Obviously it's not my decision, but it seems a little soon. My co-parent Garth agreed to practice safe sex, and then didn't. I realize it's not up to me, and I have to accept that I may end up living in a situation that is too difficult to handle. I don't think...

Yesterday started off wonderful. Helen and I lazed around in the morning, had great sex, took the baby to the pool. We made dinner for the family, Helen and Garth went out with some friends. I felt appreciated, not left out, safe, good. Helen has been more affectionate with me the past week...

You're right-- we all need to talk about what the plan is. When we discussed her moving in, starting to pay rent here in May, I mentioned (warned her?) that living with a newborn is not easy, but that's as far as the conversation went. She is currently in a sort of 'aunt' or family-friend role...

I am also scared that things will be similar once the new baby comes in June. I will be left nursing a newborn, not sleeping, no time, and they will just be carrying on in their little bubble without me. Ugh. I'm so insecure and pregnant right now. Garth keeps saying I should just 'kick her...

Thanks for the reply. Helen has been good about giving Garth and me time to reconnect, actually. I think that what hurts most is that she doesn't want me in the same way that she wants him. He and I are pretty solid. I can't make her want me. I can't even really ask her to. Bah. I really...

Hi again, I posted a couple months ago about a meeting with my partner Garth's FWB, Helen, with whom I had also had a sexual relationship at one time. Since then, the relationship has progressed into a full-blown triad. She is basically living with us. I know, I know, it was probably not a...

Vincenzo, I'm one big sore nerve right now.. I am usually better at telling the difference between lecturing and outraged concern. ;)

Thanks, GalaGirl, I think I'm going to wait a couple days and send her a message to that effect. Wait til I calm down a bit. Give her some time to mull things over. Figure out what I want to talk about with her. With both of them. Then we will try again. Was trying to get things resolved too...

Easy there vincenzo. I didn't come here to be lectured about my partner and coparents' betrayal and horrible treatment of me. We are dealing with it. I don't need advice here about rebuilding that trust or how we are moving forward and that's why I asked about another, smaller less complex...

Thanks for your replies. JaneQ, I think you've hit the nail on the head. G and I have a lot of trust and boundary issues to work through that have nothing to do with H and we need to do some more work on those before I am ready for the 'all three' conversation. Gala Girl, I agree we want to...