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Yep all great points. I gotta admit, this isn't all him. There's a lot of back story/history can't get into now but suffice it to say, though I've always been honest about who I am, I also went forward with relationship knowing that he was very mono because of the depth of love, that he really...

not enough words... Thanks KC43, Your response paints a very clear picture. Though the English language has tens of thousands of words, I struggle to find the correct ones to convey "pictures" that can be understood. So yes, "strong", "healthy" can come across incorrectly. For me, to be a...

TY!! Thank you all so very much for your thoughts and perspectives. So glad that kdt6427 (Kevin, right?) & Galagirl found a moment to chime in as well. Have appreciated your perspectives from first joining forum. There's some great nuggets from each of you and it will help very much. We did...

Please help me find the words to answer the question, "how come I'm not enough" when your partner wants to be everything for you, they believe that I'm everything for them. I've said the "no one can be everything to one person" but apparently for him I am. He doesn't want or seek other friends...

....and yeah, well if he feels he's mono than he's got to live up to his "swearing" he doesn't need it from you. I wouldn't want sexy times/touch from him either if he kept trying to push limits. If he needs it and he's mono.... time to find someone sexually compatible. OH!! but he doesn't...

Must be so hard for both you & he, I'm so sorry:( He loved you so much he felt he could get along without it and like you said there's nothing wrong with him needing it and same with you not being able to go there. You've tried to be GGG as Dan Savage advocates AND you've given him the option...

other options for Butch? Dagferi, someone unearthed a thread from a year ago with you talking about this same challenge so can only imagine how long you've been hurting:( Could you please remind us why Butch won't get the BDSM needs/wants met elsewhere? Think you said once because he's so...

CIndie, that's a great point about public/private OKC! My thoughts would be don't 'come out' at work but if someone asks (and your job wouldn't be in jeopardy) please say you're in an open relationship/marriage. In order for the general population to become more accepting (ie eventually equal...

Hi GK, I had run across your article & posted a comment even before I knew it was someone from the forum that penned it:) It was nicely done especially in light of the one posted a few weeks before yours and I'm grateful you got it out there even if you're being raked over the coals in some of...

Hi Dave, I've been rooting for you on your journey and thought I'd check your blog to see how you were doing. And then you posted today! Thanks for the update, though sorry it's not same ol' no news is good news. :( T seems to have always been a very independent spirit which I would imagine...

Poobah, thanks for letting me know you'd updated. I was so hoping life was leveling out for you. :) So happy to read that the gorgeous mountains of the Northwest were healing to your soul. I cherish the scenery out here, finding peace in the wondrous beauty of the mountains, water and green...

if you're a good parent... ... no one will ever replace you in your children's eyes as Mom & Dad. If you are indeed a caring parent, the answer to your question is A. My "birth" children know they are loved and cared for by our OSOs. They know they have two more adults they can count on, who...

If your bf would be sleeping in, I'm guessing, a spare bedroom, the rare weekends he's able to visit with your husband's blessing, why can't you sleep with bf those few nights a month, especially since your hubby gets you all the other nights a month?

It is different for everyone and every circumstance. And if my husband's experience is a good example (as well as a couple thread themes on this forum), it's much harder for married men to find compatible female companions. But let me get this straight-- we are dealing with adults, right...

This will probably come off harsh, as I'm in a foul mood (different story, different day). If I recall correctly, the breakup was mostly about this same guy not fighting for you and letting his wife call all the shots, interrupt your rare, shared time together and other rules/demands. This guy...

Eleanor Roosevelt There's a good Eleanor Roosevelt quote that fits here. Ummm it's..... "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." NO that's not it... "A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water."...

more than you know I would imagine, RP, that you're similar to me, that in talking out loud or writing, in the case of your blog, helps you to think things though and get things in perspective. It's great that you created this blog to help you work things out and store previous thoughts &...

Savage sage advice Alberta, Dan Savage of The Stranger's LoveCast has a lot to say on, this so, although it's usually directed more to LGBT people/relationships, it fits here, as well. To use his general thoughts: communities are small worlds, and poly is definitely a small world. Even from...

BG, The perspective you add to threads is often abrasive, thought provoking and/or entertaining. Also it's been noted by you how words have particular meanings and you don't appreciate changing definitions of them so apologies for using family in apparently only my definition of people one...

RP, I mostly wanted you to know how much you're writing/talking things out through your turmoil and successes has been appreciated and that, along with many others, your have our best thoughts and wishes for health and happiness. LR's response in post #1766 in describing herself being like...