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Boundaries. You're 32 years old and don't live at home. It's time to set adult boundaries with your parents.

No, you were not wrong. I understand she has depression and anxiety, but none of her actions are appropriate. She can feel her own feelings, but she needs to learn to manage those feelings as her own. She does not own you, and she should not control you. Especially given she is married, and...

I'd definitely wait for now. If it gets truly serious, broach it then, if you want to. I am not sure why your parents would "feel better" if they knew you were dating the couple you were hanging out with? Or, why they even need to know who you hang out with when you're not with them, where, how...

InTheDark, I just wanted to say I'm so sorry things are heading this direction, and for all the hurt you're feeling.

Not that I want to defend Bella999 here, because I think the levels of clusterfuck this is all going to turn into is pretty high, but this kind of thing is pretty common and accepted in swinging circles. A large part of it is to act as a buffer for women against the sometime overwhelming number...

Also, why would you limit yourself to single women? You're not single, why must she be? You'd likely have much better luck with a "secondary" style relationship with a woman who had other partners (possibly even married). If you're serious about poly dating for yourself, it is a big help to...

*highlighting mine* What a new lover is likely to be is really pissed off. If this were done to me, that would be the end of it. It would break all trust I'd thought was there. It's incredibly deceitful to intentionally leave out something as large as being married (which I am assuming is what...

Well, for starters, I've rarely looked at it as giving or getting "dumped." I am still really good friends with many of my former lovers/relationships. Our lives just didn't end up going in the same direction, and that's okay. I've dated exactly two people in my life who ended up being horrific...

Bella999, I guess the question is are *you* interested in poly, for yourself? I ask because it seems like you are not interested, and more looking to dismiss the notion that it's a feasible thing. And, for you, it might be entirely unfeasible and undesirable. And, if it's not for you and...

Of course. I wouldn't ask them too, either. It's just unfortunate that he isn't doing it on his own. As I said, his decision, but it is too bad he can't step outside the situation to see that leaving it up to her may be detrimental in the long run. Good luck to you all.

It's clearly Farmer's issue to deal with, and if he's been upfront and honest, then there's little else you can do. I will say that, while I normally don't make relationship decisions "for my partner's own good," since that's there job, in cases where mental illness is involved, I feel...

I'd read the history, but appreciate the recap. It mostly just enhances the idea that at least part of her issues may be that she's feeling restricted. Again, this isn't something you, personally, need to remedy. It's just something that I can see making her emotional state more challenging for...

I agree with healthy boundaries, and it's good you're getting that under control for yourself. I will say that I wonder if some things are exacerbating the situation that maybe no one else has thought of, and she doesn't know how to (or is scared to) express? You and Farmer have an intwined...

I am sorry you're going through this. While I definitely recommend you start your own thread so people can see it and weigh in I'll start here. You say you'd like to talk to someone that has successfully been through this. What is your definition, at this point, of "successful? Is it a...

I have dated a few married couples, but I was never okay with a poly-fi kind of thing with those relationships, and still wouldn't be unless things in the US changed dramatically, or unless pretty serious steps were taken to change the legal status of all the relationships. For me, it's largely...

Last reply, because this is getting derailing or the original thread. I think there's a bit of a misunderstanding here of "choices" vs. ingrained sexual shame. I said, clearly, that I don't judge anyone's decision on when to have sex, so long as that choice is based on honest information and...

As already suggested, definitely look into your state laws (assuming you're in the US). Each one has different things that come with marriage that you can and cannot "replicate" with other contracts. That is a great place to start. Communal property states are, as I understand it, by far the...

Welcome to the board! You are, actually, in a pretty good interwebs space for mono people who are dating poly folks. There's several on the boards, and most of us here don't view mono or poly as being superior, just different relationship styles. I definitely recommend taking some time to...

so much this.

I think it will be difficult to get a "most" in either direction, really. We have a lot of members on the forums that have been together for a long time, some who are solo poly, some who had poor or mismatched relationships that didn't stay together (often these relationships were already...