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I see what you are saying, but in reality, my kind of "common sense" is not applicable in a poly relationship. Because while I have opened myself up to the idea and embrace it, there are a lot of things about polyamory that ARE considered demeaning or degrading in the more mainstream part of...

I don't mean to be offensive by using those terms. They are not derogatory, so I am not sure why it would bother you. I use them as clarification. I have never been in any relationship even remotely like this, so by pointing that out, I am acknowledging that my questions and concerns might be...

Is it possible that I am misunderstanding what "girlfriend" means? Maybe I assume it meant more. But do some people/couples in the poly community use that term for just an exclusive sexual partner? In the relationships I have been in, a man would never ask me to be his girlfriend if he just...

Thank you for your advice and perspective, all of you. They have actually done this before. Jen has asked me to go on dates with them, and just with Ed, which hasn't happened yet. I have had too much going on to really invest a lot of my sparse free time into the relationship, especially since...

So, this isn't normal? I guess I thought it was common. I can understand why it would be different to see your husband mess around with someone than actually have sex, but why would they ask me not to have it with anyone else? Is there any good, non-selfish reason? I guess my mono upbringing...

We have done everything but have actual sex or penetration. Jen is open to the idea of anal sex between Ed and me. (God, I cannot believe I just typed those words.) But the topic of vaginal sex hasn't been touched on in some time. I did tell her that it was really frustrating for me to have all...

Well the weird thing is that Jen is all about me hooking up with him. She loves to watch and talk about it. She has never acted jealous or insecure or put out. Overall, she is cool as hell, and I adore her. I feel outnumbered, which obviously I am. I feel like as the "addition," and the new...

Whoa... I can relate! I just entered into a relationship with a couple for the first time, but I have nagging concerns that I am opening myself up and hoping for something meaningful and real, but they might only ever see me as a fun sexual "add on" to their real life. I'm tired of being used...

The couple I have been seeing and sexually involved with for the past few months asked me to be their girlfriend. I, of course, agreed and I feel good and happy. However, this is my first time doing this sort of thing and I have questions. 1) Since the beginning, "Jen" and I have been the ones...

Since when did privacy become synonymous with secrecy? It seems a little exploitative to say that this girlfriend, the secondary, should sacrifice her own sense of comfort, her boundaries and privacy just for the "intimacy" of a relationship she isn't even involved in. Why is the OP's need for...

I am a newbie, but I would think that if their relationship is separate from yours with him, that she is entitled to privacy. It might not bug you if they talk about his sex life with you, but if it did, that would be okay and you would expect them to respect that. I would think it could take...

I am currently single and on the verge of entering into a relationship with a married couple that I have been sexually involved and friends with. The idea of the relationship is exciting and different (never done this before!) and I enjoy them both... However, I am concerned that I might not...

Well...never thought I would find myself here! My name is Bethany and I have never been involved in or even really considered a poly relationship before. Technically I still am not, but I am on the cusp of one and very excited, nervous and curious! I have a lot of questions and I am so glad to...