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Young girlfriend Yeah, when he told me she had just taken a cruise with The Backstreet Boys, I was taken a bit aback. It feels strange to be taking the back seat. Sometimes I feel like I have all the shortcomings of being the old first wife (old, straight, responsible), without any of the...

Wow Thanks. I have been alone most of my life, and have been open to things that might be unconventional, because I thought I might find my fit that way. But you're right. I don't deserve less than the best. This is hard, but really not harder than anything else.

hmmmm We do spend almost all of our time together when she is not here. He does listen to me, and has agreed to spend NYE with me. (I have never had a date for NYE!) He actually takes me requests for my needs pretty seriously. I think he thinks I am emotionally blackmailing him by telling...

This is all very helpful Thanks to everyone so far. Keep the insight coming, please. Redpepper, when you say, "he needs to take on," are you speaking of in the sense of "owning," or in the sense that I am putting too much on him? Also, he says he understands that I may need time, but that he...

I'm not sure whether it this worth being in, I guess. I do feel that he is willing to communicate, and be kind and gentle, but he gets really upset that I feel emotional. I cry, but I don't get mean or accusatory, and try to keep telling him that I don't want him to change, I just need to tell...

NRE Yes, but I am also an new relationship. If his NRE is directed at her, rather than me, isn't that yet another red flag?

Also, I am not sure if their relationship is based on all of what you mention, or on the fact that he had to work so hard to get her.

Thanks, countrygirl I have been reading up on and trying to understand the whole poly thing, because if I want this to work, I am going to have to accept it. I guess I just don't get HOW to not feel this way.

Thank you, Opalescent You may be right. He says that it takes him a long time to fall in love, and that there is no reason to believe that he won't with me, but he is quite clear that I need to stop my jealousy.

treehouse treehouse

I live in Adamstown. Tell me about yourselves.

A few months ago, I started dating a man who is poly. He has a relationship that he had been pursuing for several years, but had just consummated about a week before we met. Thus, they are in love, but he is not in love with me. She is half our age. She lives pretty far away, so they only get...

insulin

Poly/non-monogamy isn't necessarily the solution to having unsatisfying dating experiences in the mono world. Most if not all relationship skills you need for successful poly are the ones you need for a successful relationship, be it mono, open or poly. Is there a common denominator as to why...

I had never really considered poly before, nor have I had any relationships that lasted long enough for this to even come up as a possibility. Because of my lousy experiences with relationships, I have been very open and clear in considering that the relationship/lover that would work for me...