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Jealousy is always about fear of losing something, regardless of whether it's realistic or not. Sometimes it's fear of losing love, sometimes of losing control, and sometimes things from our past can crop up. Our current situation can be a trigger for a past loss that we don't want to think...

What you're wanting is not ethically wrong, though it might not be ideal for many people. My suggestion is to be VERY honest with women that you meet about what you want, and let them decide for themselves. I don't think it's impossible for you to find a partner who would be happy with this...

This is a risky proposition, on many levels. 1. Legal: depending on where you live, you run the risk of ostracizing your families, your children and your community to outright losing legal custody of your children. Please check the family law in your country or state before even thinking...

I don't know military, but I do know LDR. Just want you to know that you're MUCH appreciated and loved by your friends and community as well as your sweeties. You're one cool chick to have as a friend. :)

Woohoo! All hands clapping here (except for the guilt -- *dislikes guilt*)! ;)

And for the record, a few of us here are actively campaigning (legally, even!) for the right for polyamorous people to feel comfortable being open about their relationship choices. Hang in there; the day will come.. :)

What you are looking for does not have to be "polygamy," depending on the spiritual commitment and relationship dynamics of everyone involved. One question which comes to mind-- would you be open to a girlfriend who would also have the option of having another lover, other than yourself?

Wow, so many options here for different yet exciting dynamics.. it all depends on the people involved and what you each want as individuals. I admit I'm sort of curious about why your other partner is ok with sleeping in a separate bed in your room.. is it because she enjoys watching you...

This year I attended a conference in our city that included a speaker from the asexual community. I had never considered this a relationship/sexual preference identification before, but it makes perfect sense that is would fit within a poly context. Here is their website, in case anyone is...

I'm with Ceoli. In my experience, trying to keep things "equal" between two partners in poly doesn't make things easier, but more complicated. I've usually found it's better to go slowly with the relationships that do develop and increase levels of communication and reassurance between...

**HUGS** Sometimes self-care is allowing yourself the space to feel crappy. Writing your thoughts unapologetically also counts. I know how difficult it can be for you to get "alone" (in the sense of kid-free) time and space. Remembering the days when I was in your shoes, it took more than...

So my boyfriend wrote me tonight and the things that were triggering his other girlfriend were surprising -- not what I'd have expected.. and nothing I could really have changed or anticipated. Her stuff. I'm of course feeling a bit more nervous about a next meeting, but at least in the time...

Hehe, yep, I agree RP. Better she and our mutual lover discuss things now than leave them to grow and get bigger than they need to be. My job is just to be patient and trust him to communicate to me when the time comes. EASY job, right? :P Hugs & see you tonight at the monogamy debate...

Yep, you're all bang on, of course, in the sense that I don't have to feel guilty about her emotions or nervousness. I have figured out that I have a trigger about this kind of situation since being in a poly relationship years ago with a couple. When my girlfriend would get triggered, she...

I was visiting one of my long-distance boyfriends this weekend and met his local, primary girlfriend for the first time. She was tense and uncomfortable during the visit (tea at a local shop) and later on she sent him an email saying she'd been a bit freaked out by meeting me, though she said...

I would highly recommend talking, in an active listening sense of the word. If you were able to arrange a time to talk about your relationship with your partner and decide beforehand to stick to the "rules" about taking turns talking and listening to each other, that might help a bit with...

Hey RP, just remember that everyone deserves their own space and quiet time. Your son gets his own room, and he'll understand why you get one, too. Having "me space" makes us all healthier and much more fun when we do get together with the loved ones of our choice, right? Yay, so happy that...

I would have to agree with RedPepper. Are you poly? Did he have a date? Did you ask about it? Open communication makes being poly SO much easier.

This post is fantastic, RP, thank you so much. You should really post this on a fetish site as it's very valuable information regarding consent and personal responsibility in bdsm relationships. I've been engaging in bdsm play for over 20 years and am frequently appalled at the number of...

I love using the term "lover" to refer to the people I'm in relationships with. For me, this doesn't have the connotation of illicitness, though I know for many people it does. To me, a "lover" is someone I love, someone I make love with, and someone who has a more special relationship with me...