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For the second time now, Whiskers has had to reschedule on me. The first time he told me about 5 days in advance and apologized that he forgot he had theater tickets with a friend. The second time was for tomorrow and we had daytime plans for some time when we would both be able to be free from...

Ugh. I'm so bad at this. The very thought of having this conversation is making me feel icky in my tummy. It's so weird, because I don't feel desperate. I like him, but I get plenty of affection "at home" (so to speak). If he directly told me that he wasn't really interested in going further...

So, theoretically, how would you handle a situation where it feels like your text styles don’t match? Whiskers seems interested in me at times, but he *never* initiates texting. Like, pretty consistently I am the first one to send a text for the day, he responds with some cute replies and asks...

Age: 34 PIV partners: 2 (still involved with both of them) Additional Oral/Manual-only sex partners: 4 So, like 6 total.

I might do that. It’s just that the recent breakup was only one part of the drama — there is a lot of drama and ongoing stuff with her wife that isn’t going away.

I have explored it — I use a little tongue here and there because I know it pleases the other person and I allow them to put their tongue in my mouth. I just don’t enjoy it enough to do it reflexively.

Perhaps, but we really did have a lot of chemistry and I think being just friends without wanting something more would be tough. She seemed really smitten with me (I’m not being egotistical here and I know I’m not all that — it was likely due in part or in whole to her emotional vulnerability)...

Well, the good news is that we actually had a lot of chemistry and I didn’t get any kind of creepy vibe from her. The first part of the date was actually really fun. The bad news is that the red flags that I was worried about with her situation (recently ending a lengthy relationship with a...

I probably put more importance on it than a lot of people, and it is important for me to remember that not everyone considers kissing as intimate of an activity as I do. But your second point gives me something else to fret about:WHAT IF I AM A TERRIBLE KISSER? I don’t know how to kiss a lady...

I think it is pretty much impossible to have an expectation that you are not allowed to catch feelings. You can tell someone that you would like a simple, physical relationship/friendship (but not a romantic one) but you cannot agree that you simply won’t develop feelings for each other. You can...

Okay, so I haven't really been on OKC lately because things are going relatively well with Whiskers and I'm just not all that interested in juggling multiple potentials. But then recently I checked it and a woman who I had been messaging with before (like a month or two ago when I was on OKC...

Holy crapola So there was a girl who I encountered a few weeks ago when I was last on OKC. When I went off OKC I shot her a message giving her my number and telling her I would love to hang out sometime. Then when I went back on I told her I was back and would love to hang out. She kept saying...

This is really more of a survey than anything else. I am curious as to how often folks on here see (or Skype or whatever) their partners. Once a week seems to be standard for non-cohabiting couples in poly networks that I encounter around here, but obviously there is huge variety! I’ll go...

I don’t understand — I thought he had broken up with you via text? But you are calling him your partner? Why are you still trying to have a relationship with these people? It seems like this situation is done and that you are trying to Justify, Argue, Defend and Explain your way through it when...

I kissed him! I kissed Whiskers! I’m so happy! We had a really nice date and it ended with him walking me to my car in the drizzling rain and then I asked him if I could kiss him. He said, “yeah, let’s do that,” all non-chalantly. And then I stopped him right before we almost collided and...

I'm a little confused as to what you are hoping for here. You describe this as "joining a poly relationship" and suggest the possibility of being "invited" but it is not clear to me whether you are interested in being in a relationship with both your best friend and his partner, or whether you...

Interesting! I wonder if this is a regional thing. My sister recently visited and commented that people in my area (the Midwest) seem to be more oriented toward kitchen-table poly whereas her friends on the East Coast are more of the mindset that all their relationships exist in isolation. It...

It does help to know that there was some confusion over this back when I was posting about the Laptop situation originally that may have affected the advice I received at that time. It's obviously a moot point, but just to clarify, all of Laptop's partners identified as poly. They knew he was...

I can see what you mean, but I just want to clarify that I’m not all gaga over Whiskers or anything. We’ve gone on two daytime dates (a week apart) and have a third one planned for a week later. We have hugged three times, never kissed, and we text a couple times a day — stuff like, “Taking the...

NRE = new relationship energy; the feelings of uncontrollable excitement and connection that come at the start of a new relationship. It sounds like your partner has it bad I’m so sorry you are going through this. It is kind of you to be understanding of what your partner is experiencing as he...