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My head hurts and I want to go to sleep so badly. Pink is spending time with one of his kids tonight so my plan was FaceTime with Mommy then going to sleep by or before bedtime but that plan went to crap. Nicole is in the middle of a half manic, half depressive episode and Mommy is sick plus her...

I'll explain the whole Nicole and Domme thing when I have time, maybe this weekend. I currently have two tasks due tomorrow (a letter to her telling her how I feel about Mommy and Pink, the complete truth), and a rough draft of a children's book (at least fifteen pages with pictures) due Friday...

Being a Big can be really hard. Buddy drives me insane sometimes. I adore him and I think it's worth it but grrrrrr. Nicole is currently my acting and real Domme. It depends on how things progress to see if it'll be a lasting thing. I have FaceTime with Mommy soon and story time with Pink...

@Polysnow Thank you for your reply and telling me that I'm not alone. I'm glad your Master is getting better about keeping his promises! Pink and I had a long talk on the phone last night while he was driving home from his dad's. I explained what the problem with Mommy was. It turns out she...

I called Mommy out for lying. She tried to give me excuses, all of which I promptly shut down. I told her that the fact she tries to get away with giving the excuses makes me think she thinks I'm stupid enough to fall for them. I'm Little, not stupid, and she knows that. I also reminded her that...

I am so tired of being patient. I am tired of feeling like I've been put last, of when Mommy says she'll do something and then doesn't, of Mommy and Nicole spending tons of time with Pink, of Traditional always being around, of things/people always getting in the way of my time with Pink, Mommy...

@Evie You're completely right. Part of my uncertainty is that I have no idea where the boundaries are. He said he wants things to develop naturally, which I understand, but I'm uncomfortable not knowing exactly what is expected of me. I don't do well being in the gray area, which is ironic...

Today was a tough day. Last night, Pink read me a story but soon had to go to watch Dr. Who with Traditional. He also reassured me that he and I are okay. I told Traditional hi and she said hi back so yay for progress! I went to bed with a smile on my face because he made time for me. I was...

Mommy goes between the reasons I'm not "really" poly because my first poly experience was a closed triad (which she doesn't consider to be "real" poly) and the fact that I'm closeted poly due to where I live and then constantly reminding me I'm new to poly. It's pissing me off. I will talk to...

I think I screwed things up. Pink read me a bedtime story and I admitted that I was needy. He sighed and asked if him reading another story later tonight would help. I apologized for being needy and he said it was okay but, based on his sigh, I don't think so. Mommy's phone is dead and she no...

Thank you guys for your replies! I'm glad you all appreciate my honesty. Today started off relatively well. By 4, I was in tears. Nicole mentioning Pink makes me feel sick because it automatically reminds me they'll have a sexual relationship and then I feel guilty because I consider her my...

Today wasn't really poly focused. I didn't even get to talk to Nicole at all today. Pink told Traditional to check her messages online where I sent the one to her. No response to me yet. I told him that I am uncomfortable entering into a relationship with him without at least initial contact...

I am ready for this weekend to be over with. First thing this morning I did my final punishment--putting soap in my mouth for five minutes and emailing Mommy and Pink as much of the video of it as I could. The gross feeling after I took it out was not worth the violation that got me punished...

Enter long day two. Pink and I talked on and off most of the day. The four of them are two hours behind me time wise. I didn't talk to Mommy or Nicole until later in the day. Buddy dropped a bomb on me. He was asked if he wanted to be the Little of a local Mommy friend. He is now choosing...

It's 2 am, Mommy, Nicole, and Pink are having "kinksgiving" at Pink's house with Pink's sub (Traditional) and a bunch of other kinky people, and I am in bed at my Gran's house processing. Background: Pink lives alone. He spends time with Traditional daily who is monogamous and is struggling...

Female biromantic (romantically attracted to both male and females) straight gray asexual (when I do experience sexual attraction, which is very rare, it's only with men).

I can do nicknames! Starting now: M will be Mommy. N will be Nicole. B will be Buddy. P will be Pink. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! It has been a very long day for me. Got up at 7ish, got ready/packed, texted people (Buddy turned 19 today), lunch at my Gran's, cards, cousins came over...

I have to write in this every day now that I have three partners (one relationship still developing) and another relationship in the early stages. My parents are stressing me out. My dad is always joking about how I don't do enough--the house would be a pigsty without me doing dishes...

For the head's up, all of my relationships are long distance. I've been with M since the middle of July. My relationship with M is platonic and I look up to her like I would a second mom. I call her my girlfriend to the poly community and my Mommy to the kink community. She is my caretaker and...

I suggested doing this because I've been having what I call 'really bad poly days,' meaning I've struggled in some way. It's like something opened up inside me the past few days and only goes away when it feels like it. Background: I'm a 21 year old kinky person living in rural TN with my...