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Thank you, everyone, for your care and consideration about my situation. All of your insights have been quite useful. I don't have a crafted response right now as I am just processing everything you all are saying and trying to keep non-relationship matters in my life on track (plus I just came...

@Leetah Well, over the past number of years, I have been in individual therapy on and off because of an anxiety disorder(s). Many of those years were also with medication but I'm now in a long stretch without individual therapy OR medication and I still feel okay, even with all of this...

Well, therein lies the conundrum. If I walk away, then the relationship is over, so I lose the relationship. But you're saying if I stay, then I'm tacitly saying it's OK to violate my trust? I guess it's not like I completely disagree, but I'm not sure if it's that black and white, though...

@Tinwen Thank you for replying. I do accept SOME blame for his state of mind but certainly not for his actions; he and I recognize what he did was wrong and a violation of our agreement. It's not so much that I'm confused as I am conflicted: I adore being in a relationship with him in many...

@KC43 Thanks for responding. Obviously it is very dishonest and hurtful, especially since he knew how badly I was hurt/our relationship was damaged the first time. I know you say "as long as you don't let him" but I'm not sure how to not let him other than leaving ... ? @nycindie Thanks for...

Greetings everyone, I'll put the TL;DR version up here just so no one is scared away: I'm (probably) mono, I have a poly partner who cheated twice, he hasn't been great at following rules/making sure I'm comfortable, I feel physically ill imagining him with others, I feel partially responsible...