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Hi, sorry this might already have been mentioned and I missed it, but it sounds to me that whilst your NP certainly has anxious attachment issues, your meta has (im sorry if this seems harsh and / or isn't the case and you know that) manipulated the dynamic you and your partner have to minimise...

Ignorant question coming up. Terminology related. Hinge* Leg* and the difference between MFF and FMF (is that like a hierarchy dynamic thing?)

Hi Nimana. Afraid im North of the wall.

Hi Rich. Where in UK? Just curious.

Hello all :) North of the wall myself. Been poly for forever, newly (and very happily solo poly though) I like this focus on friendship and support with no shopping lists (which can honestly just ruin things a bit and gives me personally the ick sometimes) I have 2 kids 15yo girl and 11yo boy. I...

Ohhhh Evie! Brilliant! That's it in a nutshell. The bit I couldn't articulate. Acknowledging the overlap. I will try this tomorrow and see what he does with it. Thanks!

I think that's where it gets confusing for me. I would say he's maybe scapegoating because he doesn't have energy for a "date," if it happened sometimes, not all the time, or if he wasn't far more likely to just say, "Sorry, I just don't have the energy right now," which he is. He is very much a...

I think that's kind of where I'm at. "Those who matter don't mind, those who mind don't matter" sorta deal...

I get that. It's never an easy conversation to have. Even if you have other members of your family openly poly and accepted, it's different when it's you coming out. I do struggle with feeling like a secret, though. But that is my emotion to manage. Just thought I'd ask, given I don't have a...

Hmmm. A thought just popped into my head. Can I ask? What is your opinion on "coming out" as poly to family? Mine was honesty is the best policy, and honestly, that's made my life so much easier and less stressful. Besides, if I hadn't, my mother would have brained me by now for being a cheater...

Yeah. It's just working out how to best communicate that. I can't know for sure, but I think if I mention it, he might get stuck on all the things he does that prove he does think our relationship is important (and he does so much that shows me he does), and therefore almost invalidate my...

She does not, I don't think. This is genuinely a him thing. His default. Not something she's ever expressed she needs or wants. I think he would be surprised to learn how deep the conversations we have get at times. It's like he's wanting to be seen to be doing the "right thing," but for no...

It has been sustainable, I think, because I genuinely do not feel insecure that he adores his wife, and that she and I are sooooo close, and because it's been the healthiest poly I've ever had the good fortune to wind up in, with almost identical values shared between the three of us. Where it...

To clarify when I say non-hierarchical poly isn't something we can get on board with, I mean we feel that sometimes you're just closer with one person than others, and that not every partner can always be equally important regardless. So we accept that sometimes you will just enjoy one partner's...

Hi, New to this site. I'm looking for some advice, personal experience from others on navigating conflicting feelings around compersion and jealousy. I'm dating a guy. A great guy. Open, honest and all 'round kind. His wife and I are very similar (in personality, not looks, where we couldn't...