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So this one might have a happy ending... We kept talking and today I asked her if she wanted me to visit, and talk about everything on the weekend. She said she wanted me to come, but also said she didn't want to talk, she had forgiven me already... I didn't want to say anything else over the...

We still talk every day basically all day, and I try my best not to dump any anxiety on her but obviously I have a bit more than "some"... she has a fwb now which I guess help ease out the blow a little bit; she says she isn't breaking up with me (just yet) but obviously I don't know how she'll...

Thanks... so much to process...

Thanks a lot for the support! So after seeing a therapist and taking meds he adviced to give the antidepressants a little time, and get first the incredibly high levels of anxiety under control until i decided what to do... I was compelled to go the route of "learn from your mistakes" but it...

Its so funny...i was so scared of she having sex with others and that throwing me into a crisis...thats why i had sex in the first place and partly why i didnt tell...and that very thing ended up doing it...shit im neer ever ever lying about anything again :( i started on medication again...ill...

Well do any cheater ever intends to hurt anybody? Probably not... It was by all means an act of self preservation. I have a form of ocd, it comes in crisis...in a mono relationship i found out very graphic details of an exes past affair which catapulted me into a crisis and ended up breaking...

Thanks...I'd like to wait til she is back...i just dont know if thats one more month

its funny how the human mind works...once i realize i have really wronged somenody, i just cant get over it...how i convinced myself 4 months that i had done nothing out of the stipulated is beyond me... do you guys think its better to talk ot in person even if it means waitig a month? This is...

Quote: Originally Posted by copperhead View Post "The mistake that defines Richard untrustworthy is not the affair, but keeping the secret. Making a mistake, even a prolonged one is not what defines people. It's waht you do after you realize you've made a mistake. In this case Richard is lying...

Thanks Kevin, I think it will help to post here, at least have people with experience in this kind of relationship help me out, and be anonymous about it... or just cry my heart out, I am only human and I never intended to hurt her... This might sound so ridiculous, but I actually always...

Yes...when i did it te rules were more opaque...I should have asked for time...i should have been smarter about it and definitely shouldn't have been dishonest. I will prepare everything for it to come out the best way possible...id i even lose her friendship, so be it...thanks again guys! it...

I really do think this is the fairest form of love...i am really disappointed... just hope next time i give it a go i'll be able to do it better...

Thanx for hearing me out galagirl! I understand but honesty comes first...ill start to grow around the idea that this will probably end...I know her too well to think she'll look pass this... maybe its even better to just excuse myself and let it be...and at least we can stay friends that way...

Yes you are right of course...i was not ready of course i wasn't...but i was so in love with her i wanted to try regardless of how...I just wanted to be with her it didn't matter how... knowing her she'll never look pass this...i'll go to the therapist before i break up but maybe its best to...

Thanks Galagirl...Interesting article... I don'T feel my position is the same... If the agreement had been "we dont have sex / kiss other people i wouldnt have done it... " The agreement was she doesnt tell me, i tell her (i didnt really wanna know at first...like i said i wasnt ready)... I...

Well, she had her reasons to know, she had said she wanted to know... and I still didn't say anything... But I definitely covered up and lied... I don't think it was controlling... She wanted to know and I agreed... The relationship was just really shaky, and we were fighting a lot... I know...

Ridiculously, I hadnt felt bad about it for months, because i didnt really realized the implications it had for her...I guess i'll get the therapist and basically be sure that i will lose her... Thank you for the replies

I hope I get an appointment with the therapist soon...it's hard in germany

Thanks so much guys! Yeah It's messier... I denied a coupled of times having had anything because i was so scared about losing her, and i knew she wouldnt mind about the sex, much less kissing... but I was so sure she would break things up and i was so terrified by that...I kissed someone a...

Thanks so much for your reply! I will make an appointment with a therapist to go through all the emotional baggage and come clean as soon as I can... I dont want to do it before some therapy sessions in, because i know i will enter a very very dark place if i lose her... I've been clinically...