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"The absolute truth" was my problem This conversation is the very reason it doesn't make sense to say there are any absolute truths about love. People experience it and define it differently. Why try to tell someone else what they are capable of? Personally I think the feeling of love differs...

Monogamy was my preconceived relationship model, I am no longer in that style of relationship. I stumbled into polyamory by falling in love with a second person but to be fair, at that point I had already decided I wasn't willing to be closed off to other love. The "first one" (meaning the...

That homogenized line of thinking does make sense when you consider these people wake up in the morning caring what other people do with their lives at all. If you believe that everything has one right and wrong, it makes sense that everyone must be alike. Which is why they are so passionate...

It's not wrong for you to feel uncomfortable. It's not wrong for them to show affection either. There is no pre-existing set of standards. Have a talk with your partner and see if you can work out expectations of behavior when you're all together that you can all agree to.

For the sake of wrap up, I ended up talking to him and he was supportive and said talking to him was the right choice and he was sorry about the initial reaction. I said I needed help figuring out what the goal is because I can understand completely compartmentalized and I can understand being a...

Spork I think you and your blog are so great and I've been meaning to say so for a long time. It seems like you're conflating two different things here. Men might be attracted to them, but they don't give love to porn or body parts. They give love to people. I certainly believe the internet...

Here's my attempt at some positive thoughts I am going to be there! Which has got to be a major improvement on every other year when I didn't get to be with him at all. I know he will be happier just having me there. I just did Christmas with both sides of his family and he thought I behaved...

Thanks for writing KC! It's unrealistic to me because we're unlikely to see each other often enough. She only sees him once or twice a week and I only see him for a few days a month so it's most likely that we'd both prioritize alone time with him which is the same reason I've rarely hung out...

I'm excited to read your updates about Pandemic Legacy. I'm through May. You're going to love it.

I get panicky when I feel like I can't talk to anyone. Now I know I'm blowing things way out of proportion so I'm just going to dump it out here. First concern is my standard quiet introverted personality and anxiety in all group social situations. I think I often come off as upset or weird or...

Here are way too many details about a partner's birthday party my metamour and I are attending that I'm nervous about due to general social anxiety and a number of other more specific reasons. I'm just looking to get my worries off my chest and maybe for someone to say it will work out fine...

Its normal for me My advice is don't ever worry about what is normal, worry about what works for your relationships. I think it would be helpful for you to work on being less judgmental towards your feelings. If you need to judge something, judge your behavior. You aren't holding anyone else...

I think it's a great goal and I'm really impressed with your efforts! I know I need to break out of the shell I've insulated myself in and reach out to people as well but most of the time I can't even manage to hit submit on replies anonymously on this forum. You're doing such a great job. Does...

Thank you Kevin and KC and Leetah! I get on a plane tomorrow thankfully. We put off this visit so I could help out with an event this weekend. I have to remember to avoid that mistake. I know I go crazy after 4 or 5 weeks. So he went out tonight. He asked if I thought it was a good idea and we...

Also if this is all starting to sound a little familiar to anyone I did post here infrequently in the past. I'd prefer not to have my current discussions linked to that super awful year but if having a new registration is a violation here let me know.

Infinity, We didn't spend 9 years intending to live together. We spent a lot of time accepting it as long distance. Things have changed multiple times in that span of time. Right now living together is something we both want but it is not the only priority. Currently we have the time and...

Thanks for writing KC (I've been lurking here for ages, I hope you're doing alright!) The truth is we are on the phone with each other constantly. If we were to establish "focus on me completely when we're on the phone" boundaries we'd both need to spend way less time on the phone. I am given...

My boyfriend and I are long distance (9 years at the end of this month) with no end in sight other than the agreement that we do want to be in the same place eventually. We see each other for 4-7 days or so usually every month and I can typically tolerate that without feeling crazy. Right now...