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This discussion is really helping me; thank you. To Oreadne: I agree that some of this anger might be at yourself. Deep down, you know you deserve great things. So when you don't treat yourself right, there can be anger there as to 'why would I let myself be treated this way?'. I moved to a...

Thank you again for replies. I am reading the website GG posted and recognise quite a few of the traits in Bob - especially disassociation from reality or evidence which contradicts what he wanted. The question I have about just contacting Bob and saying 'We are not friends - don't contact me...

Hi GalaGirl, thanks for the quick reply! I want to clarify: when you say 'just say no' to Bob - do you mean to each instance of him texting or calling and asking 'can we catch up'? Or did you mean that next time he contacts me I should just say 'no, we are not friends anymore'. The first one...

[Post edited] Thank you to all the people who responded to this thread. I am requesting it be locked now. The topic of the thread was that I have a friend who has continually made sexual advances on me and wants a romance with me, even though I have told him I am not interested. He is somewhat...

WHo can I PM about this, seeing as no-one replied?

To follow on from nycindie's question: is the agreement that you simply have to meet Jane's partners before things become romantic (you said 'before things go further')? Or is the agreement that you have to meet them and approve of the relationship / be comfortable with it? (As a later post...

I don't know, but the quote comes from the movie Wayne's World. Wayne's ex is stalking him and she gets referred to as a 'psycho hose beast'. Sorry, off topic but wanted to answer the question. Back to your regularly scheduled topic now :)

Thank you for sharing so far, everyone. The crux of the discussion, so far, for me, has come down to this distinction: emotional vs. practical 'place' in someone's life. The question: is it possible to be emotionally equal with 2 partners, but practically, one comes first (due to financial /...

:D

Could an Australasia section (for folks in Australia / New Zealand / New Guinea / Pacific Ocean Islands) please be added to the meet-ups section? I notice one post in the Asia section about Australia, but Australia is not Asia. I think Australasia deserves its own section please :) It's the...

THANK YOU nycindie. This is a really great resource. Having a look at the table now. This is exactly the kind of thing I want to know about.

To the poly people who do not like to practice hierarchical poly: how does the idea of marriage fit in with this? I see a few people on this site who are married to one partner and maybe have another who they consider an equal primary (such as, a husband and a boyfriend). How does this work...

Hi newobsession, I just want to make sure I understand this right: 1. Your wife cheated on you. 2. You found out 3 weeks ago. 3. In the last 3 weeks you have been expected to emotionally process: a. the cheating b. a shift from a mono to poly relationship And now you're trying to work out...

Following up the previous post - on agreeing to boundaries for emotional health reasons: Quite a few of you said that while you may have a small number of 'agreements' with your partner, most of your communication about what they did with someone else happens because they want to share that...

Hi again helpful people, Here are some more thoughts I have had on this: First, in terms of JUST sexual safety (i.e. physical safety). My 'criteria' for vetting someone who I would trust to have sex with ME are, I think, stricter than many people. For example, when he and I first had sex I...

Thank you. You've all given me a lot to ponder over.

cool. Thanks for sharing. I am enjoying reading. I have 4 questions: 1. Why doesn't her boyfriend (your hubby) want kids with her, ever, but wants them with you? 2. Why are you not ok with them having kids (you said emotionally not ok) 3. How did she respond when she was first told he doesn't...

That's what I was trying to figure out. Has it been put to this girl that the husband is not ready for kids and therefore doesn't want them now with anyone at all? In which case, whether the original poster is ready for them or not wouldn't be an issue, because it's between hubby and girlfriend...

The way you say 'we' are not ready for kids, make your husband and you sound like an 'us' while she is a 'she'. Kind of like she is definitely the secondary bolt on to your marriage. Have you ever had an explicit talk about the status of your relationships, in what ways she is equal to you and...

Thank you for the quick and informative replies everyone. You have given me some good perspective and food for thought. I'll follow up your replies with some answers / questions of my own: Candiedlove: you're right, I think it would be unlikely for me not to notice. I was more just listing...