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    Fragments to the Contrary

    In this thread, I will collect fragments of things I've read that have given me pause, made me question both the wisdom and the viability of the practice of polyamory. I don't agree with everything in each of these fragments, but they raise for me important questions about what many on this...
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    Colbert's All-Inclusive Wedding Cake Toppers

    In a bit on the Late Show, Stephen Colbert tries to cover all imaginable marriage combinations . . . http://www.cbs.com/shows/the-late-show-with-stephen-colbert/video/099A8177-EB3D-3049-3B15-07D96B8DD98A/stephen-colbert-s-all-inclusive-wedding-cake-toppers/
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    New York Times op-ed on Polygamy/Polyamory

    A column in today's New York Times should be of interest. Note that the author responds quite reasonably to objections against plural marriage that assume traditional polygyny. http://nyti.ms/1JtOwIE
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    the price of open (and closed) relationships

    There's a lovely, nuanced refection on the risks of relationships, open and closed, in The New York Times, this morning: http://nyti.ms/1SOb9yv
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    Walking and Falling

    I'm starting a new thread here, as it seems there may soon be some new developments in my life. The title comes from Laurie Anderson, Big Science (1982): (You can listen to the number - not so much a song, really - here: https://youtu.be/02BIaMBfUc8 ) I keep thinking of this because I sort...
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    Douthat on "polygamy"

    This is curious: Ross Douthat, one of the conservative columnists for The New York Times, makes a few predictions about "polygamy" as the next step in the unfolding of "expressive individualism." http://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/31/opinion/sunday/ross-douthat-the-prospects-for-polygamy.html He...
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    "Terror-Based Sex Education"

    This isn't about non-monogamy, as such, but about disinformation, sex-negativity and slut-shaming in high school sex-ed courses. (Somewhere in the conversation on Twitter, someone refers to what happened in the classroom as "terror-based sex education.")...
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    Philosophy of Romantic Love

    This article might be of interest to folks here in the forum, an interview with philosopher Berit Brogaard on her new book, On Romantic Love: Simple Truths about a Complex Emotion. http://www.newrepublic.com/article/121029/berit-brogaard-romantic-love-interview Of special interest is her claim...
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    [Heck] Yes, or No!

    Vix pointed this out to me: http://markmanson.net/fuck-yes/ At the moment, it strikes me as the best new-relationship (or wanna-relationship) advice I've ever come across. It's simple and it saves time. It prevents game-playing and heartbreak and creepiness. Above all, it puts consent right...
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    Ethical Inquiry: Is Consent Enough?

    I've been ruminating on a question about what it is that puts the ethical in ethical non-monogamy. I haven't really settled the question to my own satisfaction, so I thought I'd introduce it here for some discussion. What I'm hoping for is a really frank and serious discussion, but one that is...
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    Of Misogyny and Mass Murder

    I know it's not directly related to the theory or practice of ethical non-monogamy, but some of the more informed and thoughtful commentary on the killings in Santa Barbara, the motives of the killer, and the wider culture of misogyny do seem to be germane. Themes of consent, equality...
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    Consent

    This isn't about polyamory, per se, but it's really pretty cool and worth sharing around: http://www.upworthy.com/do-i-have-your-consent-to-show-you-this-video-about-the-part-of-sex-thats-often-overlooked?c=ufb1
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    Vanilla!

    I came across this on the Code Switch blog on npr.org: http://www.npr.org/blogs/codeswitch/2014/03/23/291525991/when-vanilla-was-brown-and-how-we-came-to-see-it-as-white Vanilla - the spice and its history -are not so bland as metaphorical uses of the term might suggest. Consider: Europeans...
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    Year-End Resolution Support Group

    Do you make New Year's resolutions? I do, but with a slight twist: I treat midnight on December 31 as a deadline rather than a start date. Otherwise, a New Year's resolution is just an excuse for putting off the effort to develop new habits. I'm starting on mine today, but it would be nice to...
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    Anarchy! (Um . . . Relationship Anarchy, that is.)

    I'm intrigued by the idea of 'relationship anarchy' and the ways in which it seems to converge with and diverge from 'polyamory'. In searching the forum, I have not found a focused discussion of the idea, so I thought I'd try to get one started. Is anyone else familiar with the idea of...
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    Excellent Article on "Purity", Shame and the Double Standard

    This is worth a look: http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/05/09/purity-culture-bad-for-women-worse-for-survivors-of-sexual-assault/
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    What are the limits of consent?

    For a number of reasons, I've been thinking about consent, lately. I'd like to pose a question for general discussion. I don't have a particular point of view I want to push, and this doesn't relate to any particular situation in my own life. I'm just curious what people on this forum think...
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    Spamapalooza! (can we help?)

    Wow, there seems to be an awful lot of spam on the forum today! Is there anything in particular we rank-and-file participants can do to help? Does it help, for example, to report each and every instance of spam as it comes up, or does that just tangle things up for the mods? Please advise.
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    On NPR: "Polygamy" (and plural families) and the law

    I heard this just now on NPR: http://www.npr.org/2013/03/28/175619109/if-supreme-court-lets-states-define-marriage-could-legalized-polygamy-make-a-com As I post this, the audio is not yet available online. Wait for it, though, because it's worth a listen. Prof. Turley seems confident that, if...
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    Color Coding?

    Okay, I give up. Why is it some user names now appear in green, where before they were only either blue or red? My username is among those that shows up green, and it's not that easy . . . No. I won't go there. This started only today, regardless of the platform from which I access the forum.
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