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  1. redpepper

    Guru falls

    https://medium.com/@fv.survivor.pod/on-light-and-shadow-polyamorys-metoo-411e0275c2fe Sad. So sad.
  2. redpepper

    Volunteer community safety team

    HI there. It's been so long since I've written here. I can't believe I remembered my password. The polyamory community members where I live may benefit from having some support when there are issues with the members. It's come up over the years, when someone does something unsavoury and the...
  3. redpepper

    Again with "lifestyle"

    It seems that there is a cycle again in my life whereby there seems to be a lot of married couples doing the poly thaaang as a way to propel their established relationships into change. I call them "lifestylers." Sorry if that rubs you the wrong way, but they tend to take on poly as a lifestyle...
  4. redpepper

    What is a heirarchy, really?

    I haven't started a thread in a long time, but the this topic came up recently on the group I admin. on FB and I thought I would see where it went here. Heirarchies; traditionally and according to the writings of many of the poly writers on line, its described as a married or long established...
  5. redpepper

    Sock Puppets.

    Sometimes people decide that it might be an awesome idea to start another account so that they can manipulate conversations and troll. That might be fun and dandy to them, but its really not to others. It can cause unrest on the forum by spinning tails and playing themselves off, well...
  6. redpepper

    Attention Secondaries

    How are you? Apparently this forum is seen as primary heavy. So let's talk to the secondaries... If you, dear reader were to do a tag search for "secondaries" or "secondary" you would see years worth of tagged threads where secondary status is well discussed. On my blog I discuss it at length...
  7. redpepper

    Dominant poly people in tribes

    Mono and I have been talking about this and thought we would bring it to the forum to see what you fine folks say about your experiences. We have noticed that there is a presence and exsistence of a dominant person in tribes/polycules/poly families (not related to with BDSM dominance). They...
  8. redpepper

    Gossip vs. Information and working on stuff

    What do you think one's responsibility is to relay ones dating experiences with people to others that are now dating them? I guess it doesn't even have to be dating experiences. It could be metamour experiences etc. too. Is it useful information to you, as someone's new partner, to hear other...
  9. redpepper

    breaking up properly

    There seems to be a lot of people breaking up around me. I was dumped this last winter also. At the time it was unclear why, but now I understand that he was more interested in his new business, had nothing to talk to me about, found me boring at times and didn't like some of the ways I asked...
  10. redpepper

    Primary/secondary relationships cult mentality

    I thought it would be helpful to consider the connection between cult like behaviours and poly primary/secondary ones. I have done a bit of research on cults, but am no expert. On poly? Well, I know some stuff about that, but again, not everything. So bare with me on this train of thought. I by...
  11. redpepper

    Varieties of Open Relationships

    Interesting ideas on in this article on types of poly/open relationships that might help decrease the concerns in this quote. Varieties of Open Relationship
  12. redpepper

    Leasing partners, rather than buying partners

    Oh man. I like this article. I like that its realistic! Relationships: 10 Reasons Why You Should Lease, Not Buy
  13. redpepper

    Relationship commitment

    I was taking to a man today that was very concerned about his relationship with his girlfriend. He thought that perhaps this was because of their "open relationship" and her having quite an active sex life that was outside of what they had together. He said he didn't want a traditional...
  14. redpepper

    Don't Ask Don't Tell thoughts

    I will never, if I can possibly help it, date anyone with a DADT agreement again. I had a relationship I had with a man that ended with his wife calling me up and telling me never to contact him again. A year later she emailed me to see if I would be interested in a threesome with her and him...
  15. redpepper

    Jealousy article

    Here is a pretty good article on jealousy for those of you struggling with it. Hope its helpful and interesting.
  16. redpepper

    Inclusion in poly

    Elsewhere, in another group, a woman said the following as a result of her observations about people and their opinions on triads being about letting them come about as they will rather than "bringing someone in": I think, for me, inclusion comes in different forms. I think that having been in...
  17. redpepper

    bi-monogamy, what is it?

    My friend wrote this the other day and I wondered your thoughts on it. "This was the question I asked a girl who lists herself bi and has criteria for both a male and a female partner. Her profile doesn't give any other hints to her, um, "quantitative orientation", so the question popped out...
  18. redpepper

    poly people say ;)

    Shit poly people say Spin off from "Shit girls say" enjoy :D
  19. redpepper

    Implosion of a poly family- a cry for help.

    Any of you who know me on FB and are on the group I host know this story, but I thought I would re-post because this lady needs help badly. implosion of a poly family
  20. redpepper

    Commitment: what is it?

    What does commitment mean to you? Is it important? Who are you committed to and why? What makes some people worthy of committing to on some level and others not?
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