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It's been a lot to take in. I haven't had time to really think, much less time to be online. I have pulled back from many social outlets because I needed time to devote to getting my own life on track. I can see the progress I have made and it's helpful being able to see that I'm moving...

Still alive :) Crazy passionately busy. Hired to a nee job April 2015. The staff have been so supportive of me rebuilding my life and finding myself. The company alleviated 50+ jobs last month. I will get lay off paperwork in october when tourist season ends. I will be sad to go. But...

One day at a time, but happy to say most are good days. :) been busy with work and at home work and running off on my days off to explore with my beast. We are good. 8 months slipped by and we are both into a comfortable groove with each other. Haven't resolved the limitations created by...

Ilike my new job. It keeps me busy. Lots of work on the house. Changing it to be mine. Kids are gone to see grandparents so im home alone a few months. No current drama. Just embarking on solo poly withmore emphasis in solo.

Not yet. But I am working on it. I am really good about taking my vitamins, which includes a dose of 20,000 iusof D a day. The joys of living in alaska. :p My sister is actually coming over this weekend with another friend who are very nutritionally wise. We are pulling together recipes for...

We have a mat. Its still rough. Two days off is NOT enough after 10 days working. But it was a highly lroductive teo days working on the property at home and celebrating a grabdkids bday. Back to work in the morning. They did hire a temp so we wont be pulling 12 hour days any more. :)

Day 9/10 straight days at work. Im beat. I should be sleeping but my legs keep cramping. Between allergy testing, trying to recreate a diet without foods Im allergic to, standing all day for work (on a concrete floor)-I am in pain. Whole wheat, eggs, dairy, soy, cacao, tomatoes. And I live in...

Don't get me wrong-I am enjoying the work challenge. But the schedule will take some getting used to. I worked today and then spent a couple hours with the kids, grandkids and son in law. Did I mention I have the BEST son in law? :) We had dinner and now I am heading back to bed for another...

New job is kicking my ass. Drive 60 miles, work 8 hrs with an hour lunch, drive back. Doesn't leave much time for anything else. Fridge is empty. Pantry is getting close. Kids, dogs, bf all feeling neglected. I am exhausted. Today I started the summer schedule. Sun, Mon, Tues 5:30am-2pm...

Yes. But i also started my nee job, babysat 5 kids for a weekend and have been scrambling. He apologized and explaine he freaked because he combined a relatively recent conversation where I had said I sometimes wondered what he looked like fucking-because shen its ME in action with him Im far...

I dont understand why you dont just wear a condom. We each have control over iur own bodies. You cant MAKE her do a thing. But you can stop having sex with her or stp having unprotected sex.

SUNSHINE! It has been shining and today he got over 55F outside. :) I figured out that due to my diligent efforts all semester, I could get B's in all my classes even if I skipped finals. So-I skipped finals. Took a week to myself without school before work starts on Monday. I worked in the...

And the days roll by. I haven't managed to break through the delression fog. But I have forced myself to keep working on my yard (heavy duty sweaty work). My 15 year old serenades me at night with piano music (he knows it soothes me) and far too often he wraps his almost grown up arms around...

Still battling the depression hard. But I'm determined to win. Weather is eh. Not terrible but too windy to be able to be productive outside. I mixed concrete for stepping stones today. Wrote two papers for a class. Helped my niece make a birdfeeder for the yard. I did a few more scrapbook...

Spent the afternoon with the Sexy Beast. It was a good afternoon. When we were kids he would record tapes for me. Today he gave me a cd he made. It was intensely emotional collection of songs that describe our relationship astonishingly well. He included a hand written letter detailing which...

I'm hanging in. The Sexy Beast is sending me pics of roses and reminding me that its always temporary if not always short lived.

Exhausted. Worn down. Went to bed Monday night and pretty much stayed there til Friday. Depression hitting hard. No motivation or energy or interest. Just blah. Today I noticed every breath in feels like inhaling ice which means possible pneumonia. JUST finished antibiotics for a UTI...

Tough weekend full of ex-bs. I should totally claim credit for coining that "ex-bs". Tomorrow after school/work is our date time. It will be cut short by child obligations, but I'm not complaining-it is 't being cancelled. The most difficult lart of the solo-poly thing for me (right now...

Today was 6 months. No big plans. We did spend the day together, unexpected on both our parts. A couple odd changes in schedules resulted in the opportunity. Its "that time of the month" and I am feeling emotionally tender and sensitive. He was being playful and teasing; quickly saw it wasnt...

Interesting steps arising. We spent the weekend of my bday together earlier this month and he made an idle comment within the context of a conversation regarding finances, that he was going "to see a friend" in May. It was an unusual way for him to word it, that made it obvious he was going to...