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I wish I could offer some help but I just struck out with my wife over transitioning from a mono to poly relationship model. I will be watching this thread intently in the hopes of discovering something I had not thought of. Good luck!

Fear of intimacy. Hm... Well if that's the case, and as you say you are very serious about your relationhip, invite her to explore her fear, either with or without your help. Also, tell her as you told us all here, that you are OK with a serious relationship. A fear of intimacy will predicate...

A relationship without communication is like a ship without a rudder. Have you communicated your concerns over the lack of communication she is doing or of her avoiding your husband?

Thanks for the reply. I don't have any intentions of anyone knowing outside of the people that need to know and neither does she. Would I deny it? Probably not. But I'm not going to get it inked onto my forehead. Thanks again :)

Thank you for the link! After looking through that and other threads all day yesterday we sat down last night and had our talk. It went much better than I could have hoped for!

Does anyone have a story like this to share? How did you bring it up? What reaction did you get? I'm thinking its time to confront this gorilla in my life with my partner but I'd be lying if I said I'm not nervous about it. I hope some stories may strengthen my resolve.