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    My Boyfriend is Poly and I am Not..

    I certainly agree, but the original poster hasn't said one way or the other if they have considered it as an option. I knew one mono/poly couple, (sexes reversed though) she was poly and he was mono. When she 'came out' as poly to him, he accepted it, but it didn't 'click' with him that it...
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    My Boyfriend is Poly and I am Not..

    I have a question to the original poster... Do **you** have any interest in getting another partner? While your boyfriend is poly, I'm sure he's not demanding that you stay mono. So is there a reason why you are staying mono? Are you just a mono person and you want to make poly work? Or...
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    Poly and Affairs

    I'm not sure if it's relevant, but has the husband **ever** had another partner outside of the marriage? If the answer is no, then this may be a sign that he is having trouble making 'proper' poly connections. It's no secret that a man will usually have a harder time attracting additional...
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    I want non-monogamy and he doesn't

    I'm curious... You talk about the time you spend with others, but does *he* have any other partners? Or is this a mono/poly relationship? If it's the latter, that is likely a big part of the problem.
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    Advice appreciated, does it ever go well for the unicorn?

    I've only known one 'ex-unicorn' (albeit as a friend, not in a relationship with her) and she told me that the two attempts she made both made her feeling like a "handmaid" from The Handmaid's Tale. I don't think I have ever heard of a unicorn not being the one who 'loses' should something go...
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    Oh help, what to do when kids get too attached to a new person??

    Kids take their cues from their parents. Yeah your kids may have a father, but (because of whatever happened) you don't treat him that way. (This is not a criticism, it's just an observation.) This is especially apparent to the boys when they see Daddy and Goth in the same place at the same...
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    NRE & Self-control- advice needed

    Icesong hit the nail on the head here. NRE is intense but shallow. It's essentially a 'crush'. There is little if any depth involved. If anything, it's a journey of discovery. In a mono relationship you can fall head over heels in love with someone and be with them all the time, since you...
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    NRE & Self-control- advice needed

    One of the problems with woman-woman relationships (in regard to a male partner) is that there is a level of emotional intimacy that would rarely be present in the opposite (male-male)--and even if it was, I doubt it would impact you because of how those relationships tend to go. I've seen...
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    Question/Advice. Is it over the line?

    It's not your fault though. You never caused this to happen. It was her choice and her relationship. She's an adult and can make her own decision. Honestly, I think you should take a break either way. If she did indeed break it off, then maybe grab a hotel for a week. Otherwise you'll just...
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    Question/Advice. Is it over the line?

    Maybe what would be best for you would be if you took a 'break' from your marriage--a trial separation. Perhaps you can ask your wife if she can stay over at the GF's place for a week and give you some time alone to think. This will also help the wife understand just how serious this is, and it...
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    Question/Advice. Is it over the line?

    It doesn't sound like you had a discussion, it sounds like she tossed a pile of accusations and ultimatums at you. I still think you should discuss it again, but in the manner that I suggested above. Ask her "do you think this is fair to me?" That's a simple question. Either she can say yes...
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    Question/Advice. Is it over the line?

    I wouldn't go that far. I certainly wouldn't beat yourself up over this. Hey, all over the forum you'll read posts where people talk about how "communication is so important" and that "limits need to be respected" and such. In my view, you had the right idea. You and your wife agreed to open...
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    Question/Advice. Is it over the line?

    Well said LoveBunny, although I think we can be even more general than what you posited. I don't think any relationship/marriage can survive if the 'glue' that holds it together is an ultimatum that person 'A' must do 'X' or person 'B' will leave. It could be anything. "You have to make me...
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    Question/Advice. Is it over the line?

    To be fair, no one ever 'plans' to fall in love. Did you 'plan' to fall in love with your wife? Of course not. Love 'happens' when two people--who are open to it--have the opportunity to become closer. It can happen anywhere, to anyone, at anytime. Personally, I think your wife betrayed...
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    Co-Dependency vs. Polyamory - feeling hopeless

    I want to comment on the 'codependent' aspect of this discussion here. As someone who studied psychology, I can say that 'codependent' is one of the most abused terms around. Furthermore, it's often referred to as a 'mental illness' when it isn't one. Pick up a DSM-V and you won't find any...
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    I've been having relationship issues after my gf came out poly to me

    I just want to say that this (quoted message) was a great post. Well thought out, apt analogies, and a balanced point of view. Makes me wish there was a 'thumbs up' button. :) While I'm tempted to respond to your full post, I would likely only be reiterating much the same points that you...
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    Major discomfort in the idea of a threesome: How do I deal?

    This alone is the only reason that matters. You need to be true to yourself, and this is the most honest statement that sums it all up. First and foremost, you need to acknowledge one very important thing. You have a right to feel the way you do. Nothing, and no one should ever make you feel...
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    I've been having relationship issues after my gf came out poly to me

    Which is a good question. It does seem the onus is always on the mono partner to 'change'. In a situation where you have two people, one mono, and one (wanting) poly, it's clear that one of them won't get what they want. Of course we hear that if the mono partner loved their poly partner...
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    I've been having relationship issues after my gf came out poly to me

    Hey, I'm just as guilty of that, if not more so! :) Ahhh, but there is an important step missing here... Time. 'Try' is a 'trial period'. A set amount of time in which a person is given to assess whether they 'want to buy something'. In your example, what's missing is that there should be a...
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    I've been having relationship issues after my gf came out poly to me

    If that is the case, then it is possible that the mono partner may not be very 'open'. In which case, that will likely have had an impact on the relationship already. However, ask yourself... When you were going to ask your partner, did you not have any idea how he would react? Did you not...
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