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This thread is ancient and I don't know how many of you are still here, but I thought it might be nice to tell you how everything panned out. It was very hard for me at the time, but I put my foot down, and broke up with my s/o. After I was absolutely devastated, but my life rapidly turned...

So, I thought I'd update you guys. Thank you all for the advice and input, it really helped having a bunch of unbiased voices helping me make sense of all this. I went to counseling to meet my wife and talk things out this morning only to discover she got lost and never made it to the session...

Thanks everybody for the insights and comments. I especially liked the clarification on how to set boundaries as opposed to try to control. The difference is very nuanced for me, and I'm definitely still learning it. I definitely agree that I should have put my foot down a long time ago in this...

I appreciate this clarification. I'm horribly prone to ultimatums and it does in fact end badly for me. The problem is I can't cope in this poly situation at all, and the only way my wife seems like she'd be capable of respecting boundaries now is if it were a non-issue. So how do I establish a...

I appreciate the empathy. This has all been weighing on me hard, and it's just good to hear people recognizing my struggle. My wife has not been diagnosed with anything related to impulsivity, but she has always had a very addictive, impulsive, and obsessive personality. Her mental conditions...

So, I decided I wanted to post on hear in hopes to get some outsider opinions on my current situation. The whole story is nuts and long so bare with it. I've been in what seemed like a very healthy relationship for 4.5 years. We've had our share of disagreements and a few rare break up scares...