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  1. polyrhythmic

    Age Old Question

    Hey there, Smalltown: First of all, I agree with what most people here are saying. You need to examine your reasons for wanting to go poly, and make sure your wife is really (really, REALLY) on board with it before you go any farther. Pressuring someone to accept poly is probably the best way...
  2. polyrhythmic

    Hello from Texas

    Welcome to the forum, smalltown. I'm also from Austin; there's a pretty big poly community here that I'm just starting to dip my toes in. If you go on Meetup there are a few meetup groups that have monthly meetings, and there's also a Poly Cocktails event that meets every second Monday of the...
  3. polyrhythmic

    New to poly and need people to talk to

    One of the hardest lessons I've learned so far (and that GalaGirl helped me with *hat tip*) is that I'm not responsible for my partner's feelings. I'm responsible for my OWN feelings. Your first sentence is on the nose: your upset feelings are indeed your problem (not that they're not...
  4. polyrhythmic

    Personal Summaries

    I'm a 30 year old man, living in Texas right now. I'm bisexual, but I'd say I'm a 2 or 3 on the Kinsey scale; I'm more attracted to women than I am to men. The right guy can certainly get me hot under the collar, but I'm attracted to a wider variety of women. I'm a musician and fiction writer...
  5. polyrhythmic

    Poly for all of 2 weeks.

    Welcome! I'm also very new to poly; my marriage has been officially open for about a month now. It's been a pretty thrilling ride so far. Nice to see someone else who is in a similar situation. This has been a good forum for me to learn and share my own experiences, so hopefully you'll enjoy it...
  6. polyrhythmic

    My situation that I struggle with

    Every single poly relationship I have heard of, both online and from personal friends, that began with cheating and lies has ended terribly. Polyamory is not a fix for marital issues, particularly if one party enters into it unwillingly or is coerced into it for fear of losing the existing...
  7. polyrhythmic

    Issues and need advice please

    Is it possible to gold star a comment? Because this is great.
  8. polyrhythmic

    Dealing with Asymmetry?

    Calm (very, VERY calm) confidence describes my personal interactions just about perfectly, so I'm set. After stewing on this whole thing for a while, I think I've come to the conclusion that patience is the key thing. A and I are different; of course our approach to dating and meeting people is...
  9. polyrhythmic

    Your most recent OKC messages. post em here!

    I'm a man, so I don't get very many unsolicited messages (judging from what I've read here and elsewhere, this is a good thing), but the ones that I do get are often gems. And by "gems" I mean "what is this I don't even." Check out this one I got yesterday: I have my dogs in one of my photos...
  10. polyrhythmic

    Issues and need advice please

    There's a lot to unpack in this post, and I'll leave most of that to others, but I just want to say that anyone who absolutely refuses to use condoms is probably not someone I would want to have anything to do with. That in particular shows a distinct lack of caring about the people this person...
  11. polyrhythmic

    Dealing with Asymmetry?

    Oh, an additional wrinkle that I forgot to mention: A and I got married very young (thanks Christian upbringing), in our early 20's. We were each others' first sexual partner (well, for PIV at least; I had had a couple of girlfriends before I met her). I think that's part of why this has been...
  12. polyrhythmic

    Dealing with Asymmetry?

    Thanks again for your insights, folks. I'm glad I stumbled upon a space with such supportive and emotionally-sensitive people. I agree with kdt and everyone else that I do need to work on myself. Focus on doing the things I like to do and finding like-minded people to do them with rather than...
  13. polyrhythmic

    Advice needed for transitioning couple

    I just want to chime in and encourage you to keep going down the path you're going on. It seems like you're doing a great job so far. Speaking as a husband who has had these very same fears, this is such a helpful, uplifting thing to say. A told me that very thing when I was having these...
  14. polyrhythmic

    Dealing with Asymmetry?

    Thanks for the kind responses, everyone. Yes, I do feel a good deal of support from her. We talk a lot about our issues and our feelings about what's going on. I let her know when I'm feeling left out or jealous (which is happening less and less often) and we look at ways to alleviate that...
  15. polyrhythmic

    Dealing with Asymmetry?

    Pardon the info dump, but here goes: I've been married for about six years, together with my wife--let's call her A--for about ten years. We recently opened up our marriage and are exploring polyamory. We're in something of an FWB situation with another couple that we met through a dating app...
  16. polyrhythmic

    Dating Sites

    OK Cupid is great, especially because you can list that you're in an open marriage and/or poly situation so it's easy for like-minded people to find you. I've also had a lot of luck finding couples with an app called Feeld, which is designed with couples in mind (you can either create a joint...
  17. polyrhythmic

    New in Austin, TX

    Hey there forum, I just turned 30 a couple weeks ago, and my wife and I opened up our marriage on my birthday weekend, so I'm thinking my 30's are going to be an interesting decade. As we are extremely new, I'm open to any sort of advice or tips you can give me, including how to meet...
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