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Thank you, Magdlyn. It is so hard to see the big, long-term picture when so much is unknown. I am so glad that he has a lot of support from his family (brothers and sisters and parents), because to be honest, I would be feeling paralyzed by anxiety and fear right now. I really hope that...

Man, I sure do love him. I got to talk to him on Skype last night and it was so good and reassuring to see his face. He seems so at peace with this decision and relieved to be out of the house. He described himself as just feeling so free. Even though there are struggles ahead, it is so clear...

War and Peace It’s been over a year since I have been here. But something has happened and I feel the need to come back and talk. Whiskers’ polyfamily is breaking up. I had always felt that — from what Whiskers had told me — it seemed as though Curleycue and Kitchenbear could be really hard...

Love in the time of Coronavirus Wow. It’s been a long time since I have updated. Well, obviously, like the rest of the world, I have been working from home, parenting my kids, trying to help them with distance learning, and generally feeling isolated and worried about the future. Within all...

I’m losing my mind. Glasses and I are both working full-time from home and trying desperately to both be full-time parenting our young children. Its nearly impossible to both be having meetings with a 4 year old and a 7 year old squabbling in the next room. Our employers don’t seem to have any...

Interesting....I always thought that swinging was as varied as polyamory (in that relationships could have many forms, multiple levels of engagement, etc) but that all the “rules” that polyamorous people think of as being unethical are allowed to be negotiated in the swinger community. The...

Feelin’ Sad.... So Chameleon texted me this morning saying that he is going to catch up with me after he gets back from his trip to visit his long-distance girlfriend. I knew that he was going to visit her and expected that he wouldn’t be texting me while on his trip, but somehow I am feeling...

I agree with what GalaGirl said — spot on. I will add that sometimes there *are* legitimate reasons why (if I haven’t set a boundary otherwise) I would expect my partner to share certain information with his wife. For example, if he wanted her advice on handling something that had come up in...

Hmmm....interesting. I think the trouble with this method is three-fold, though.... (1) it presupposes that you would need to try one more partner than your saturation point....and then you would have to break up with someone in order to go back down to your saturation point. So does that mean...

What do you all do when you don’t have space for another partner....but have a crush on someone? Especially when there is mutual interest? Do you.... Ignore it? Suppress it? Indulge in fantasy/crushing, but no more? Negotiate a casual relationship? Wait for a time when your life is less...

Exactly! I have no time for more relationships. That’s why I’m annoyed with myself. This is so ridiculous. I’m just feeling stressed and looking for distraction and escape. Ugh. My romance novel was helping me to not think about him, but I finished it last weekend. I need to find a new romance...

I’m bad at this.... Well, I am fairly confident in my ability to continue this friendship without it actually *becoming* something more....but I am finding it almost impossible to not *want* something more. It’s stupid, but my heart gets all fluttery when I see a message from him come through...

It sounds like you already know the answers to these questions. Get out now. He sounds like an awfully uncaring human being. This is particularly disturbing: In no way does he seem to be treating either of you like anything other than objects.

Flirting without intent... Chameleon and I have been texting. Texting a lot. Revealing more personal information. Saucier information. He has texted me two photos of himself in body-revealing clothing — in the context of getting my opinion on the clothing, but still....I invited him out with me...

Ha! Very direct advice. Thank you.

What have you found to be an appropriate and comfortable level of direct communication between metamours? Although I am asking the question in a general sense in order to solicit a variety of experiences, I will provide a few more details about specifically why this question is on my mind...

I have to say that while I don’t discount non-PIV sex, I do have a tendency (for myself) to think of the number of sexual partners I have had in terms of who I have had PIV with....but that is for a number of (probably very specific to me) reasons: 1. PIV is intimate and intense (for me) in a...

A little moment... You know how I have been convincing myself that I am bad at sex? Specifically how I think I am bad at thrusting? Warning: Some of the following anecdote gets a little....specific. After some bangin’ sex this evening, completely unsolicited, Whiskers said, “I love the way...

A little update.... Apparently finding and reading some polyamory-themed romance novels has helped distract me from Chameleon. It also got me in the mood for some crazy-lovely sex with Glasses. Maybe all I was looking for was a little drama — drama that can be satisfied in the world of...

Thanks guys. I really appreciate both perspectives here — I do think that I am focusing on Chameleon in order to avoid the actual work of thinking about my issues with sex. I also think that meeting him in person might be a good idea — to put a face and a voice to all the texting and to get him...