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  1. idealist

    Idealist Poly Blog

    6 years as a Polyamorous Woman- it's working for me!!! I have hit the 6 year mark of living a polyamorous lifestyle. The meaning of this has changed a lot during the last 6 years and again I find myself re-defining this term and how it is being expressed in my life. I just turned 59 years old...
  2. idealist

    Idealist Introduction....glad to be here !!!

    6 years as a Polyamorous Woman- it's working for me!!! I have hit the 6 year mark of living a polyamorous lifestyle. The meaning of this has changed a lot during the last 6 years and again I find myself re-defining this term and how it is being expressed in my life. I just turned 59 years old...
  3. idealist

    Idealist Poly Blog

    Checking in with Great News!!! It's been a year since I posted last and l and I wanted to share some positive things about the lifestyle for those of you who are still not sure if it will work for you or not. Richard and I have remained in the lifestyle now for 5 1/2 years. The main...
  4. idealist

    Idealist Poly Blog

    Trust and Honesty The ability to trust oneself and be honest with oneself is the key to healthy relationships. If things aren't exactly going our way, it is easy to blame that on someone else. But looking towards someone else for our sense of well-being is counter productive. Each...
  5. idealist

    Idealist Poly Blog

    Just wanted to check in with the poly community and share what is going on in the Deep South!! I have been living an active polyamorous lifestyle for 4 ½ years. I still have (what I call) a primary male partner (Richard) and am seeing my lesbian ex-lover, Brenda again. We had seen each other...
  6. idealist

    New to this...don't know how to label us?

    Just go with it! I've been a member of this forum for 4 years and have gotten a lot of great feedback and guidance here. Welcome to the forum and you may get more feedback if you share a bit more!
  7. idealist

    Idealist Poly Blog

    When polyamory is working!!! Polyamory- my story after 4 years in the lifestyle. I am polyamorous for two main reasons. 1- monogamous relationships make me feel trapped. 2- I'm bisexual so monogamy doesn't work for me considering that when I have chosen a mono partner of one gender, the...
  8. idealist

    Don't know where to turn

    One of the things that Richard and I did when we entered the lifestyle was to create a bunch of boundaries- rules and guidelines that we put in place and were committed to them. Living a poly lifestyle was my idea and he had never considered it before had no experience whatsoever, so I slowed...
  9. idealist

    Sleeping Arrangements and Beds: Merged Threads, General Discussion

    I prefer to sleep alone, for the most part. Richard and I sleep together one to two nights a week. Lee occasionally spends the night with me... about four times a year. I also sleep with a straight female friend of mine when she joins me at the beach, which is 3 to 4 nights a month. Although she...
  10. idealist

    Idealist Poly Blog

    Going on my 5th year as a poly female, it's cool to look back and realize that I have not questioned my poly nature once in these last 4 years. The decision to openly live an ethical non-monogamous lifestyle has been the right thing for me and I am growing and opening myself up to experience...
  11. idealist

    our poly life

    Thanks for letting us know what's going on! I have enjoyed following your posts and I was wondering how things were going! Please keep us updated as you move forward in your life together!
  12. idealist

    Need advice from some people more experienced in poly relationships.

    Oh- and also- for a bisexual woman who is looking for a female partner- it's hard to find one that doesn't come with a male counterpart unless you want to date a lesbian and there aren't many lesbians that want to date married women. So- my point is that a lot of people enter the lifestyle...
  13. idealist

    Need advice from some people more experienced in poly relationships.

    Welcome to the forum! One of the most compelling aspects of poly-for me- is the fact that it's totally outside of the cultural "norms" most of us were raised with.....and as a result- there aren't many role models, but they can be found! I am still a newbie (committed poly for 4 years) and...
  14. idealist

    Idealist Poly Blog

    Polyamory is totally working for us!!! So this is what the polyamourous lifestyle is all about! One of the things that is difficult for people to realize is that there is no one set way to do it. This is how we are doing it. Richard has three girlfriends besides me. One of them is his ex...
  15. idealist

    Spiritually Mixed (Pagan to Non-Pagan) Married Poly?

    It could be as simple as something like the fact that maybe you are an introvert and therefore more comfortable with a solitary spiritual path and she is an extrovert who really likes to share her spirituality with others.
  16. idealist

    Vent/Newbie Advice

    Well the great thing about poly is that you CAN go find another partner AND she CAN still have you and Mark. I don't understand what the problem is- but I'm assuming that you don't really understand poly at all. I think you are using poly as a way to justify the fact that you cheated on...
  17. idealist

    Time management

    I agree! It is interesting to see that poly is a personal lifestyle and there are as many ways to "do poly" as their are people "doing it"!!!
  18. idealist

    Time management

    I spend between 2 days and 8 days a month with Richard and we've been together for 10 years. I spend an average of one day and night with Lee every other month and we've been in a relationship for 4 years. I have other people that I see also. My relationships are pretty intense and very...
  19. idealist

    Having my own primary?

    If you want somebody to spend most of your time with and someone to come home to- then by all means find that person and the good part about poly is that you won't have to give up your married guy! Everyone does not want the same thing- for example- I don't want to spend most of my time with...
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