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    Grieving the fairy tale

    I highlighted the word SPECIAL, because in some spiritual contexts special can mean ego love, not divine love. If you take a look at special relationships closely you can see that they appeal to your sense of being special, different or better than others because you are the only one that your...
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    Coming out to myself

    I think the bulk of what we consider personal shame / guilt is us actually us self censoring ourselves because of societal norms. As social creatures we need our society for survival, therefore we preemptively judge ourselves, knowing that being good little citizens will keep us safe. Which is...
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    Rebirthing a Marriage - Or I Love My Wife!

    BIG DAY !!!!! Well last night my wife, my girlfriend and I hung out together. It was awesome. We weren't' planning to get together, but my girlfriend got included into the party plans in a very organic way that just seemed to work. From the moment my wife started interacting with my...
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    Just starting to date as married and poly - Suggestions please.

    Thank you ElMango vinsanity, thank you for your thoughts. Yes I need to not care. Hmmmm... Interesting.. I will work on my profile and consider this type of matching. Thanks FallenAngelina, Thank you for this link, great way to add to the mix. Perfect suggestion.
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    Just starting to date as married and poly - Suggestions please.

    I guess I wouldn't mind a little input. Background. I came out to my wife as poly in Jan of 2018 and it was a struggle for her even though we had done some swinging and she has no problem with me having sex with other women. My coming out as "poly" in mindset came with the disclosure that I...
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    Rebirthing a Marriage - Or I Love My Wife!

    Well the progress continues in such a BIG way. It seems like there is a whole paradigm shift. Previously my wife had been very jealous of my platonic girlfriend that I speak to regularly, to the point of feeling very threatened. Not a good place to start if you want to open up a marriage. But...
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    Your welcome :) I used to always wear tightie whities. So my wife would call me captain...

    Your welcome :) I used to always wear tightie whities. So my wife would call me captain underpants. Then the movie came out. I had no idea, I was already a comic superhero. Most importantly, the username "CaptainUnderpants" is never taken on any user forums. So conveniently people have left...
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    I screwed up

    Pigwidgeon, I have great empathy for your situation as it feels similar to mine. I have suggested opening our marriage and been working towards this as a possibility for a while. This comment may or may not apply, so take it whatever applies and leave the rest. My greatest hurdle has been...
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    Poly and Spirituality Are One & the Same (for me)

    Evie, You sound like you are VERY aware of the pros and cons regarding how poly aids or impedes your spiritual growth and that of your marriage. I give you a virtual high five.. Might it be that it would take the right extra marital relationship that might be compatible with your marriage...
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    Rebirthing a Marriage - Or I Love My Wife!

    Big Day.... Wow.... today was a BIG day. This was the first real serious conversation my wife and I have had. Let me say serious, because there was such a space of calm. Previously, we have talked but never in a thorough, rational, and loving space. This is the space that I / We have worked...
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    Poly and Spirituality Are One & the Same (for me)

    MayDecember, I think you get it. In short I am somebody that got sober at 19 and now at 57 has 38 years of sobriety and 38 years of spiritual development. My wife who I love dearly, put me through the ringer, but rather than let it bring me down, I built a beautiful life of connection and...
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    Rebirthing a Marriage - Or I Love My Wife!

    Merging my Two Selves So it has been 1 year 4 months since I came out as poly to my wife. It has been very challenging, and I have gone very slowly. I had a pretty big epiphany this week. My wife was out of the country with friends this last week, allowing my to be alone. My friends saw me...
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    New to this and could use some insight!

    Getting sober can be a very destabilizing adventure. Disclaimer: Everybody is different and my observations may not apply to you so take what works and leave the rest. I do know about getting sober, yet I have no idea to what depths drinking affected your life. Some people just stop drinking...
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    Rebirthing a Marriage - Or I Love My Wife!

    Today my wife had great spa day for about 20+ women. During the event I took my motorcycle for a ride and then visited my girlfriend for about 3 hours. It was wonderful. We haven't talked at all in the last 30 days, however, it only took about 5 minutes into the conversation until we busted each...
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    Rebirthing a Marriage - Or I Love My Wife!

    Ending Co dependence. I believe that monogamy allows or fosters co dependence, while polyamory is more likely to promote a healthy relationship. Of course there are exceptions, but I think as a rule practicing ethical non monogamy requires individuals to up their relationship game. This last...
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    Astrology

    Same here for me, male Taurus, wife Capricorn. Which is a good combo. I have an engineering degree, so I should be naturally sceptical, but I do find there to be a lot of truth based upon the research I have done. And yes there is more than just our sun signs. I am a Taurus sun, Gemini rising...
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    Messed up situation...

    This actually makes complete sense. My wife and I have swung. I essentially adhered to the rules. She on the other hand, through use of alcohol, had several situations that were less than ethical. Having an open relationship as the goal allows for these mistakes to be just lessons on the path...
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    Rebirthing a Marriage - Or I Love My Wife!

    Making Progress For me the poly journey has nothing to do with with poly and more to do with just good communication, developing a healthy marriage and spiritual growth. Those are the goals, yet poly seems to be the platform by which this is happening. This is very similar to many things in...
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    Rebirthing a Marriage - Or I Love My Wife!

    Evie, Thanks for your interest. I have benefited greatly from this community. It is nice to know that I can give back on some level.
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