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  1. VolitileRollercoaster

    I need a blog, so here it is.

    idiot I'm a fucking mess and pushed myself to hard too fast and can only blame myself...
  2. VolitileRollercoaster

    The Struggling Mono Thread

    Yeah. He's willing to back up if that's the case, I just don't like feeling as if I'm jerking him around. He understands, it's just frustrating for me. But I trust him
  3. VolitileRollercoaster

    The Struggling Mono Thread

    I'm sure he will. I'm mostly worried about possible negative reactions to the new development.
  4. VolitileRollercoaster

    The Struggling Mono Thread

    Jumpin' in He's willing to do that if I think I'm in a good enough place emotionally. Mentally I think I'm fine-ish enough. Ideally it'd be me wrapping my head around everything and moving passed hang ups and such. So yeah, it sounds like you pretty much understand it, Kevin. But we've had a...
  5. VolitileRollercoaster

    The Struggling Mono Thread

    He's waiting for me to happily/enthusiastically give my consent to open our relationship. Which is very nice that those adjectives are needed. We talked in depth about it yesterday and, ideally, I'd be, at minimum, at 70% excited for him to start something new, which I agree would be ideal. I...
  6. VolitileRollercoaster

    The Struggling Mono Thread

    Yeah. This not talking about it thing is relatively new (12 hours?). But he's pretty much waiting for a verbal que from me that it's okay we open the gates, so to speak.
  7. VolitileRollercoaster

    The Struggling Mono Thread

    I agree. However, he's not currently/actively trying to start anything. I just sort of tensed up when he'd mentioned he and our friend expressed attraction for each other when we were kind of peeking the door to be open. But yes. He just feels that I'm not in a place to handle it, but with all...
  8. VolitileRollercoaster

    The Struggling Mono Thread

    Thanks Kevin. I have told him that' but he's so adamant that I can't handle anything practical or in theory. But I feel we need to talk even if I'm not comfortable. It's hard and my emotions aren't always static and I don't know where I'll be day to day. It's frustrating.
  9. VolitileRollercoaster

    The Struggling Mono Thread

    Head and Heart I've been posting/poking around here for a bit now and it's nice to find this thread. I'm having issues with irrational reactions to some things my SO talks about. He likes one of our friends, and has told her as much but is waiting on me to feel comfortable moving forward. I...
  10. VolitileRollercoaster

    I need a blog, so here it is.

    Holy hell we had such a great, constructive, amazing weekend. Now, my SO and I will be the first to admit we're rather dependent on each other, which can be problematic and probably informs some of the residual feelings i had from time to time. But, I went out for the first time in a long time...
  11. VolitileRollercoaster

    Poly Justification for love triangle

    You should SUPER rethink that order. Cuz this way it sounds like you're trying ti inadvertently get a 2 against 1 thing going against your wife.
  12. VolitileRollercoaster

    Considering divorce over Polyamory

    Hi Starz, I'm not gonna mince words. I'm fairly new to this scene and my first plunge was garbage but... it sounds like, first of all, you haven't had your husband 100% to yourself at all. :( Sounds like he's just painting his cheating with a poly brush to keep you around. Second, such a blatant...
  13. VolitileRollercoaster

    I need a blog, so here it is.

    I had a revaluation last night. My sex drive has been low for a while now, and I realized that (duh) it's 100% because of anxiety/depression/stress. .... Duh .... of course that's been the problem. Well, that coupled with body image issues and whatnot. I told my SO this (maybe I should just...
  14. VolitileRollercoaster

    I need a blog, so here it is.

    My 4th was okay. I didn't do anything really related to the day at all, just went over to the SO's house. Things are kind of weird because wants to talk about poly stuff, but also doesn't want to trigger me or make me feel rushed just because of his wants. Which I appreciate the concern, but it...
  15. VolitileRollercoaster

    I need a blog, so here it is.

    This is gonna be my journal away from my bullet journal. Things right now with my SO and me are going okay... He wants me to take my time, not allow himself to flirt with anyone and focus on helping me through my process. It's very sweet and thoughtful of him. Though I worry it might become...
  16. VolitileRollercoaster

    An Introduction

    Yeah, I'll be okay with not having group sex/kink. Though the reason my SO wants kink is because he's pretty DOM and with my upbringing I can't separate the difference of sex play and abuse. So he's hoping to find someone as kinky as him. It's preferable for him that I can participate but not a...
  17. VolitileRollercoaster

    An Introduction

    Hi Powerpuff, I'm sorry I made it seem like my SO and I were looking to place this future person in a box. That's not the case really. It would be ideal if she were down for the dynamic I described, but it's not required. She's not supposed to be a "toy" for us to just use, but rather a person...
  18. VolitileRollercoaster

    An Introduction

    We're not adding a secondary any time soon, Powerpuff. And she doesn't have to be sub all the time, I didn't say all the time. For more disclosure, I would also be getting Dom'ed from time to time, or the three of us would be having non-BDSM sex as well.
  19. VolitileRollercoaster

    An Introduction

    You're quite welcome! Also, sorry for the.... multiple replies... No idea what happened there... :confused: I'm really taking your questions to heart, and have been talking to my SO about them. He shares some of the same concerns, and we had a couple discussions yesterday and last night when I...
  20. VolitileRollercoaster

    An Introduction

    Thank you Al! I've found a couple of your threads and have enjoyed them a lot.
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