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I would say it is different because we are nearly always less commited to our friends than our partners. We rarely organise our lives (move house, find a new job, make long term commitments etc) around friendships, but we commonly do with romantic relationships. So my point was that if...

What I mean is, if she was rude to me, and she wasn't dating my husband, it wouldn't have been a problem at all. So the rudeness alone wasn't the problem. She (and her rudeness) only affected me (and therefore potentially my marriage) because she was involved with him. This may be what some...

But she is only a problem because of the relationship, therefore the relationship is part of the problem. But in any case, why is the distinction important? I don't really think it matters, because I doubt it would affect how the problem is tackled or resolved. For me, if she had stopped...

If I don't like my husband's girlfriend being rude to me, then there is a problem with my marriage? :confused: How can addressing my relationship with my husband stop her from being a bitch? By "getting rid of" the girlfriend, my husband proved his good judgement, respect and commitment to me...

You really can't see how relationships can potentially damage or threaten other relationships at all? Not even hypothetically? I've known friendships to end over someone's choice of partner, let along long term relationships! To give an example, my husband was briefly involved with another...

Interesting ideas! For those of you who didn't include sexual attraction, is that not a necessary part of romantic love for you? For me, love is a combination of that sexual, physical attraction and the deep, spiritual connection, and they both feed off each other. On another note, if you can...

Sorry to go back to old posts (and I really don't mean to harangue you, Coeli!) but I don't see what the problem is with this. I wouldn't allow a new relationship to grow in a way that threatened any of my current relationships. Why would this be a problem? The opposite (I will allow our...

But it's always their choice, surely? They choose whether or not to comply with the veto, and I expect they chose to have the veto in place to begin with as well, just as we choose whether or not to put a partner's needs ahead of a new relationship. These two scenarios... A: "I would never...

But it does, effectively, amount to a veto. It may be my choice, but even in relationships with explicit veto the vetoed partner has to chose whether or not to comply with the veto. I wouldn't react well if my husband just said "END IT!!!!" because that isn't how our relationship works. But...

I'm interested in exactly what people mean when they say "I love you" to their partner, and whether it means anything different in polyamorous relationships. Monogamous people sometimes say that part of being in love is preferring your partner to anybody else, which is an aspect which clearly...

Thanks for bumping this thread! It is really interesting. Hopefully this thread isn't dead, and we can continue the discussion? I think this is a very logical way of looking at it, but I wanted to add that "veto" is not always something that exists because one partner gave it to the other...

If the couple (S+P2) have a disagreement over whether to move or not, and can't resolve it, I think staying put would get the "casting vote" for me. Moving is an enormous upheaval, very stressful and can have unpredictable results.

I know you didn't write this, YGirl, but you did quote it, and I wanted to add some comments: I have some personal background that probably makes me more sensitive to this, I'm afraid, and so I take offense to the idea that a biological parent is the "real" parent. The "real" parent is the one...

I don't agree. I don't think that having genetic offspring in the world is the same thing as "having children" (as the dictionary definition you linked to defined it.) I don't see a sperm donor who isn't even aware of whether or not his genetic material has been used as a parent, and therefore...

But why? What is it about passing on your DNA that makes you think that person cannot be "child free"? If it is about "identifying like-minded individuals", then I understand even less. If you meet someone who has exactly your view, and shares all your opinions on the subject, but 15 years...

If you give birth to a child, even if you never parent that child, you are not child free? But if you birth a child, but the child does not carry your genetic material (i.e. a surrogate) you can be CF? Why is passing on your DNA the sticking point, and not the pregnancy? What about sperm or...

There seems to be an assumption here that women who want casual sex are also looking for compliments or a boost to their egos. If you are seeking that sort of validation from strangers over brief encounters, then yes, you probably won't get what you're looking for. But don't assume that all...

This is true for me too. I had a very long, complicated check list of what I wanted in a partner before I was married, because I knew what I needed to make me happy and secure long term. I only had relationships with people who could tick right boxes on my list. Now I have someone I live with...

I chose this unfeasibly long username because it makes me smile. I live in England, and my marriage became poly after a very sloooow (but very easy) process. Our relationship has never been officially monogamous, but we went from just talking about it, to having the odd threesome, to having...