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Wow—thank you for all your careful responses. We in fact do not have a set of rules or boundaries set up officially, which seems to be because we have never crossed any with each other the eight years we have dated/been married. I guess it’s time for some! I think I will ask her to see a couples...

Gala Girl, I cannot thank you enough. The poly hell document is especially helpful and speaks directly to me. This will save me hours of figuring this out with my therapist. Wow. Just wow. You are so wise and should be a counselor yourself!! Are you? Ha ha.

“Maybe on this board, it would be best to just use "they," if that's OK.” Sounds good! “It sounds like your marriage died a while ago, when Apple decided on her own to broadcast on social media that Banana was her partner, that they were poly, and that your marriage was open and polyamorous...

“Sure she has NRE, but that doesn't mean she has no responsibility for how you feel. Like you just have to wait it out. Not so. Remind her that you are still here, and you have needs too. If it were not so, would the marriage even be worth saving?” That makes a lot of sense with regard to...

I mean that B felt like a dirty little secret by not being allowed to be out as poly and as my wife’s girlfriend together on social media, so my wife decided to introduce B to friends and family as a “partner” and post about them— just in case B broke up with her for NOT doing three things fast...

Wow! Thank you especial to gala girl for parsing it all out. I had no idea I would get such immediate and helpful responses. Than you very very much. I have a lot to think about.

Dear Forum Members, I wonder if you have any advice for me—thanks on advance for your emotional labor. I am having trouble understanding how to proceed with the relationship my NP and I have. We have been together for eight years but the sexual flame has dwindled. I am straight and she...

oops! yes--I meant HSV, not HPV. What a difference a letter makes; it's edited now.

I found a poly-friendly counselor, who was a LMFT (Licenced Marriage and Family Therapist)--not sure if there is the same degree in Canada, but she's essentially a sex therapist, so much more likely to know about kinks and alternate arrangements. Problem is, in the States LMFTs are not covered...

You know what I almost never hear people talk about with regard to HSV? 1) Very specific safer-sex practices between partners where only one person has it, and 2) the risk the non-infected partner is (un)willing to take during the period between outbreaks. I've seen a little bit of discussion...

I know this thread was put up a long time ago, but I just found it and think it's one of the best--especially given that the singer of the song (called "Brazen Weep") is Skin and the band is Skunk Anansie. This singer is poly! She's a bisexual butch woman who is very independent and has...

I had never considered those trends in psychotherapy--fascinating. I've been thinking that it would be best to consider both of our behaviors as simply an inability to handle a) whatever "personality" issues are present, b) a huge teaching workload, which cut down our energy to talk about the...

Thanks, everyone! I really was worried I was going crazy and that I might not be seeing my own issues clearly--individual therapy will help with that. Why I've stayed in the relationship: Since meeting her, I've been more energetic and happier than in recent years. I eat well and have lost 20...

Thank you, BlackUnicorn. Caught the edit of her name. To answer your questions, I don't know who initiated talks about polyamory--we had both discussed how trapped in monogamy we would feel and how jealousy is unacceptable in a relationship (I have since been told by many polys that jealousy...

Hello, I am Giles. I am a straight man and my primary partner, Violet, is a bisexual woman. We are both in our 30s, but trying poly for the first time, and it isn't working: we have not real "rules." For instance, one night we were having drinks with a male friend of hers and she asked me if...