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    Why do you use the online name that you use?

    Dry Ice is a (bad, love) song by Green Day. I loved the angsty yearning in it when I was a preteen, and the fact that it's a 'deep cut'. I felt cool using it as a screen name when I was younger. I also happen to be a scientist and it evokes a nice STEM aesthetic, so I still use it now.
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    Not sure what I'm looking for... Beginner poly stuff

    This is super constructive and actionable. I think this goes along with some things Galagirl was talking about. My husbands' thought loops are more like dealbreakers, and having an 'escape plan' could help both of us immensely. Thanks for your reply :)
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    Not sure what I'm looking for... Beginner poly stuff

    Kevin T., Thanks for your reply! It is good to get some perspective and hear an account of this working out! So far it has been a whole lot of warning about how its much harder to open up if this is the situation but no one mentioning that its possible. Or what to do if this situation is...
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    Not sure what I'm looking for... Beginner poly stuff

    Galagirl, I lurk here more than I post and your replies are always well thought out and well placed. It stings a little to have some of this stuff spelled out for me so plainly, but its what I need, so thank you. If I am honest, I didn't do this because I didn't want to. I am willing to do...
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    Not sure what I'm looking for... Beginner poly stuff

    Well, for anyone who's interested, I have some updates and inputs from the husband! I asked directly for time to communicate & the husband and I have had multiple unscheduled casual chats and multiple scheduled constructive book-club-esque conversations about Opening up by Tristan Taormino. We...
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    Poly tiktok

    I had tiktok for a while (I no longer do) and I never searched the tag #polyamory but I ended up in a lot of sex positive spaces, a lot of lgbtq+ spaces, mental health advocacy spaces, and even saw good communication/mediation tips. So I saw some ENM and poly tiktoks regardless. What you watch...
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    Not sure what I'm looking for... Beginner poly stuff

    I think he's definitely more comfortable with the philosophy. There is a lot to unlearn and even when you believe in the philosophy, it doesn't mean you won't feel all of the feelings that society has deemed correct for you to feel (insecurity, jealousy, envy, etc) in monogomy. Something for us...
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    Not sure what I'm looking for... Beginner poly stuff

    This is all very constructive! I was worried that posting here wouldnt be helpful or I'd regret sharing so much detail about my personal life, but the focus on helping me move forward is so amazing. Thank you!
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    Not sure what I'm looking for... Beginner poly stuff

    I'm really appreciating everyones replies. No ones really telling me anything I didnt know, but being blunt about some of this is actually helping me. I agree that leaving things unsaid can end up causing damage. Im not really the kind of person who is able to do that anyway. i'm going to stop...
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    Not sure what I'm looking for... Beginner poly stuff

    Thanks for the reply :) I am aware but appreciate the reminder to allow him to own HIS stuff. My nerves are saying he's not doing HIS stuff ... But I could be totally wrong. He might be taking his time and doing a lot of work. This is really one big reason I think we need to check in. I'm going...
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    Not sure what I'm looking for... Beginner poly stuff

    Hello, thanks for reading through! The initial talks were years ago but nothing was set to actually open the relationship. Those talks were about our hypothetical future. I brought up the idea of actually doing the work and opening the relationship almost three months ago. I dont think...
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    Not sure what I'm looking for... Beginner poly stuff

    I do not know the point of this other than i need someone to talk to/ i need to talk this out to get my own head straight and my best friend is currently dealing with things bigger than this and has heard enough of my endless musings. Its probably going to be a rant rather than a question. My...
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    Love Songs

    I'm a sucker for an ambiguous song...& that doesnt necessarily mean a love song. I listen to a lot of music that has lyrics that come across more like poetry. I feel like its easier to figuratively insert myself into them or apply them to my life that way. A 'you' in a song like that can easily...
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    Hi everyone! (from NY)

    Hi everyone :) I'm new to posting, and to considering myself poly. I've always known monogomy didn't suit my relationship ideals, and was always honest about this with my partners and friends. Hook up culture, friends with benefits, and my personal situations made this easier when I was...
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