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Hi Everyone, tacking this on to the existing thread. Some months have passed since I confronted my wife about her emotional/short of sex physical affair with a poly man whom she was conspiring with to open our marriage. I confronted him as well, and I am confident contact between them has...

Hi, thanks for the reply. Why didn't I bring this up in couples counselling? I didn't want to embarrass her in that situation, or appear like I needed someone else in the room to broach the subject. I think it would have gone worse than it did if I sprung it there. I did tell her that I feel...

Hi, thanks everyone for the advice. It's been some time since I made the post. Since then, I took the advice of many of you and confronted my wife about her affair. I wrote a letter and left it for her, knowing I would be back in a few hours and we could speak. This was a way of getting my...

Thanks for the advice and perspective. I am worried that if I come out and say I found out by snooping, she will make that the entire issue and downplay anything that she has done. She will deny there is anything happening currently, and try to shut down the conversation as soon as possible...

Thanks. This is good advice and a fine way of thinking about the issue.

Yes, we do. We have friends and activities that we pursue on our own. It has always been healthy and fun, but now I feel like a shitbag, always suspecting the worst.

We've been in counselling now for a little over a month. It's very new and we haven't really got to the heart of any matter yet. While I like the idea of having sex with different women, I'm content to keep it a fantasy. I'm also willing to forgive, if this was a fleeting thing.

Hi Kevin. Thanks for this. I'm not really sure my wife wants this, or if she is reacting to unfulfilled needs and unhappiness in our marriage. It seems very out of character for her. Sure, the idea of sleeping with other people is exciting, but managing multiple relationships seems like a nearly...

Thank you. I will check out the video. I don't really want a poly relationship and I'm not sure that she does either. I just can't imagine finding the time for more than one relationship and it might make me insane to know my wife is out having sex with other people when I'm home doing chores...

Thank you.

Hi, I'm 43 and have been married for over a decade. We have a family and our relationship has had its troubles - some serious ones - but we still connect, enjoy spending time together, and are working on our issues through counselling. During fights my wife would say things like, "I have...