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Hi Kathrin, I think it's great that you're worrying about this because it means you're consciously trying to handle things correctly with two relationships and learning to be the "hinge" of a relationship V. We hear from so many people who are the established partner and feel neglected (or...

Because someone is just posting their sex fantasy.

No.

Just wanted to say, OP, that the story about you being so neglected on your birthday struck a chord with me. It sounds so painful. I'm sorry you're experiencing this.

I am also often touch-averse and deeply value my own space, private time, and one-on-one time with partners. I do parallel poly--I would NEVER want to hang out with a partner and their partner, much less see them cuddle. Living in the same house, even temporarily, would be a nightmare for me...

Honestly? I think a sign "poly may not be for you" is if someone only wants a poly scenario where they & their spouse date the same person. I don't mean that someone and their spouse shouldn't date the same person if all three people want that...and of course that kind of triad is very common...

Just caught up on your blog, Bluebird, and I'm very sorry to hear about your stroke. It sounds like you are doing well with recovering, though! Best wishes and good luck.

Thank you for answering my question. That is a lot for you to deal with, and I'm sorry you are going through it.

I'm sorry you are going through this. Thank you for sharing. This jumped out at my from your posts: I don't get that line though... What do you mean by hurtful behaviors? I am the one with the hurtful behavior by not caring enough about him. The line you wrote above (italicized) is exactly...

Can you clarify what type of abuse you discovered? Are you saying you found out that your mom was a victim of abuse in the past, or that your mom had been abusive to you in the past? I don't mean to pry, but I am trying to understand the nature of the complex grief you are going through, before...

There are a few questions you can ask yourself: Do you find being monogamous (both emotionally and sexually) so difficult that you feel like you can't be yourself in a monogamous relationship? Does monogamy make you so miserable that you would be willing to give up a partner that you...

I think you dodged a bullet with this couple. Leave them to their dysfunctional situation and find something better for yourself!

I think having polyamorous relationships with other people who are poly has way more pros than cons, but opening up a monogamous marriage can be a disaster. Mainly, you could really hurt your husband and potentially destroy his friendship with his coworker, not to mention, in the worst case...

He doesn't actually sound poly, he sounds like he wants to be single but for you to continue to sleep with him. Generally, poly people don't define themselves as single while "not labeling" anything else. Poly people label themselves as poly and describe themselves as having multiple...

I think you've done the right thing. They both sound very exhausting. And moving in a Tinder date after two weeks? File that under "not your problem anymore."

Prior to suggesting to your wife that she have sex with your mutual friend, had you ever spoken to this mutual friend about whether he is into MFM threesomes? Whether he would ever enjoy being watched while he has sex, and with you in particular watching him? If he's not into threesomes, you...

Unfortunately, I can't offer advice on successfully navigating a similar situation. Quite the opposite. My partner of 12 years and I broke up after he embarked on a disastrous new relationship where he was so caught up in NRE that he didn't care how badly he was treating me and how crazy his new...

I am sorry to hear this. It sounds very hard. But I think you made the right choice. She had become someone other than the person you fell in love with. It reminds me a little of what I went through with my ex Eli. We had an amazing relationship for a decade. (It was always a poly...

Hmm. I'm sorry this happening, Steve. In your place, I would also be concerned about giving Kaitlyn too much time and attention in a way that's not realistic for a married poly man. Especially with Kaitlyn not wanting to date anyone else, herself...you don't want to give the impression that she...

If you're asking about when to open up a monogamous relationship, definitely have that conversation BEFORE meeting a new person you'd like to date. "Would you ever consider an open relationship?" is a better start to a conversation than, "Can we have an open relationship so I can date X?" Some...