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  1. M

    What is holding people back from trying out poly?

    Back to the original topic. What has held me back from doing poly dating, even while in a long-term poly relationship where my partner had many other relationships, is finding only limited options under the "poly" or "non-monogamous" label (via online dating). In my twenties, I was practicing...
  2. M

    On current societal relationship dynamics

    Me too, haha. Also an old millennial born in 1981. But culturally I identify more with Gen Xers. Graduating high school in 1999, I feel like the last & youngest Gen Xer, rather than the first millennial. About the topic of this thread, poly relationships are definitely more mainstream for...
  3. M

    Are you into Relationship Collage or Relationship Complete?

    Personally, I would rather BE part of someone's relationship collage than be responsible for meeting all of their relationship needs. Especially when I was younger and prioritized working on making my own life complete on my own. Now that I am older and more established in my own life, I can...
  4. M

    Sex advice for weight/mobility issues

    Thanks, this is all super helpful!
  5. M

    Sex advice for weight/mobility issues

    This is not a specifically poly question. I have started seeing a new guy (cis man) I'll call Rick. Although I have been in a poly relationship with Eli for 12 years, I never dated anyone else beyond a few dates in the first year Eli and were together, so this is my first new partner in over a...
  6. M

    Can you not be on a relationship escalator in a monogamous relationship?

    OP, I think you need to clarify what your partner means by not wanting to be on the relationship escalator. What specifically does he mean by that? If he is saying that he will be okay being monogamous with you as long as you two are not on the relationship escalator...what exactly is he...
  7. M

    3 years of a turbulent polyam situation, feeling desperate and at a loss

    It's hard to give advice without a specific example. What did Hub do that bothered Bun, for example? But in general I am not sure you are taking the right approach by telling Bun to work out her issues with Hub by talking to him directly and not involving you. If your husband does something...
  8. M

    MFM-Vee Relationship Start

    These are all separate things: 1) Whether Jack's job is transferred and he moves to your city. 2) Whether Jack decides to end his marriage. 3) Whether Jack and Daisy continue to date each other. (It sounds like they have only met each other in person maybe twice??) 4) Whether the three of...
  9. M

    I think I might be polyamorous

    Just to get back to your original question, OP...it sounds like polyamory / ethical non-monogamy is an appealing philosophy to you (as it is to me and most people on this forum). However, your issue is that you have mostly monogamous partner who will likely be deeply hurt if you want to date /...
  10. M

    Not really a blog

    Hmm, I don't know. The covid request is obviously unreasonable, but it seems like solo poly people are judged more harshly than other poly people. Sure, solo people felt isolated during the pandemic...but nesting partners also felt trapped with their live-in partners! And for your example...
  11. M

    Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

    I have a friend who survived Stage 4 colon cancer and is now totally well and cancer-free. She did have to have major abdominal surgery to remove the mass...and I believe was on strict bed rest with no ability to sit up without help due to the incision...and then she had chemo for 6 months...so...
  12. M

    Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

    Wow, your ex-best friend. "You are safe from my boyfriend because he doesn't remember your address." Holy hell. :mad:
  13. M

    Mono falling for poly guy

    Just a thought, in case this is helpful: I have spent over a decade in a poly relationship where I never had the energy or inclination to date others. My partner was "enough" for me in terms of sex, love, affection, fun, emotional support, etc. He always had other partners of his own, which...
  14. M

    Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

    Thank you, Bluebird, for continuing to post updates during this stressful time. My own fibroid situation that I described--mine were huge like yours, but indeed had grown slowly, like over 10 years.
  15. M

    Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

    It sounds like you need the surgery as soon as possible. Would it make sense to stay on DarkKnight's insurance and figure out a way to pay the deductible, rather than go through the hoops of divorce and remarriage? After all, if DarkKnight needs any medical procedures later this year, then the...
  16. M

    Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

    I'm not sure what the physical dimensions of my uterus were...like you, I had a grape-fruit sized fibroid and a bunch of smaller fibroids. My uterus, when removed, weighed almost 5 lbs. A normal uterus weighs less than one-fourth of a pound. My abdominal scar is almost 8 inches long...that was...
  17. M

    Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

    I have no problem posting about my hysterectomy...it was a total hysterectomy. Removed the whole uterus plus the cervix and the Fallopian tubes. My ovaries remain in me, doing their thing. My uterus was too gigantic to remove laproscopically or vaginally, so it was taken out with full abdominal...
  18. M

    Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

    My fibroid uterus was successfully removed last year...very much like yours, it was just FULL of fibroids, including one giant one. It/they were pressing on my organs, especially my bladder, causing me to need to pee every hour like a pregnant lady. My uterus weighed almost 5 lbs when it was...
  19. M

    How to deal with the fear of what could happen?

    Is the new person far away? Is that why your wife can't be both with the new person and physically in your house with you? Is there a set date for when she is returning? She has to balance her time with both her partners if she wants to be successfully poly and keep her relationship with you.
  20. M

    The new stepparent in a surprise poly dynamic

    I've been catching up on the forum and just read this now... Pixie, this isn't okay. You sound like a very kind and thoughtful person. You deserve better than this. He was severely and deliberately lying to you, pretending to be exes with his wife when they were still together. Was his wife in...
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