A Difficult Situation... new to poly

[agentb2016]

No, he is triangulating you with his new victim, comparing you two. Telling you she's better than you. Less demanding, etc. Classic Narc behavior! My ex did that to me: "C and D would never say the things to me that you say!" Sure, they were "perfect" through his rose colored NRE glasses. I was, at that point, just familiar and boring. He'd gotten his jollies with me, I was predictable. And I was pissed off at his lack of attention. I was uncomfortable with crumbs of his attention. How dare I!

Yup, he's doing a good job of making me feel bad because I'm not okay with his recent behaviour, the way that she apparently is. "How dare you have needs and want a committed relationship!" he seems to be saying to me.... sadly, it's sort of working on me right now.

There you go. Some Narcs are aware, but they aren't really motivated to change. Narcs think they are special and don't have to play by the rules others do. They never seek treatment for their illness.

Yup, he's been quite clear that he doesn't want to change. I replied to your comment on my other thread too, but my therapist today confirmed that he also thinks this guy is a Narc. I asked him what usually happens to these kinds of people. He said they usually don't seek treatment because they have the belief that nothing's wrong with them. He also said he thinks the other girl might have low self esteem to automatically be ok with his behaviour. Sigh... it's all kind of sad.