An introduction of myself and our new poly relationship

[Ravenscroft]

She doesn't believe that she's poly at all...that what we have might have some similarities, but she doesn't believe it fits into any specific poly model.

Nobody's required to "join the club." However, if someone is behaving in a polyamorous fashion, it might get identified by others as polyamory.

There ain't much for "specific poly models," so this looks a little nonsensical to me.

I'm not sure what to think on the subject, and to be perfectly honest, what is the point of labelling anyway? I hate labels - they cause other people to assume that you are this and that and the other thing because of the label, even if you only "agree" with subsets of what that label actually means. ... Our relationship is what it is, and no label puts any meaning to it. There is no need for a definition.

You signed up on a site called Polyamory.com. Why? Is it because you wanted to possibly solicit advice from random strangers, or because you were able "to assume that we are this and that and the other thing because of the label"? Why not OpenRelationships.com?

A label is often an identity. It can provide a center, a point of grounding during times of upset, sadness, or chaos -- like, in the midst of NRE blindness. Running away from a label can be a symptom of denial.

If it's not polyamory, then what is it? Nonmonogamy? There's a Psychology Today blog that saw fit to "explore" only seven forms of nonmon -- Sheff, of course .

The risk I see is that, without an ideological identity (something you both wish to avoid), it could be wing-walking --

The first law of wing-walking: ""Never leave hold of what you've got until you've got hold of something else."

 

[gandalfthegamer]

Nobody's required to "join the club." However, if someone is behaving in a polyamorous fashion, it might get identified by others as polyamory.

There ain't much for "specific poly models," so this looks a little nonsensical to me.


You signed up on a site called Polyamory.com. Why? Is it because you wanted to possibly solicit advice from random strangers, or because you were able "to assume that we are this and that and the other thing because of the label"? Why not OpenRelationships.com?

A label is often an identity. It can provide a center, a point of grounding during times of upset, sadness, or chaos -- like, in the midst of NRE blindness. Running away from a label can be a symptom of denial.

If it's not polyamory, then what is it? Nonmonogamy? There's a Psychology Today blog that saw fit to "explore" only seven forms of nonmon -- Sheff, of course .

The risk I see is that, without an ideological identity (something you both wish to avoid), it could be wing-walking --

Points taken. My wife my not feel that she's poly, but it sure seems that way to me. Yes, I hate labeling things...maybe my words on my posts weren't the greatest (seems to be a systematic problem with me). I really don't know what to name what we have, but I recognize that poly could be so many things.

Whatever it is, we have to work through it together to make it work though.