Another newbie

[Emjay]

Hi I'm Emjay. I've been in a closed marriage with Steve for 8 years. I'm poly, he's mono so for our whole relationship I've limited contact with other men and didn't have male friends. But I'm struggling and want to open our marriage. We've discussed polyamory a few times just to gauge his thoughts and feelings. I don't want to scare or upset him by rushing anything so I haven't yet said outright that I want to open our marriage. He's recently allowed me to have an online male friend whom I've come to care for deeply. I don't want to hurt him so I stick to the boundaries he's laid out. My friend knows I'm married and knows the boundries but has expressed that he is open to a poly relationship with me, I would be the hinge.

I guess we will just have to take it slowly, take one baby step at a time, letting Steve set the pace and the boundries.

I'm glad I've found a community that can help me navigate whatever the future may hold ��

 

[Al99]

Hi Emjay - welcome to the Forum! I've been here since around the first of the year - after my wife asked me to open our marriage so she could explore her resurgent feelings for an old college boyfriend. I've found most folks here to be friendly and helpful - with lots of sound advice. My own story is at the signature link below - toward the end of the comments is a summary of the things that my wife did right in presenting her request that we open our marriage for poly. Best of luck on your (possible) new poly journey. Al

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings Emjay,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

It sounds like you are taking things slow; that is probably a good idea. There is such a thing as mono/poly couples, it takes a lot of work but in certain cases it can be done. So don't rule it out. At some point I'm thinking you'll want to tell Steve that you want to open your marriage. That will be a huge step, it sounds like he might be accepting but I'm not sure. Keep us posted here on how it's going, and we'll try to give ongoing advice.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

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