Bi Needs Full-filling

P

ProudMama

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My Wife and i are still sorting out details about Her taking on a boyfriend and eventual second husband. This new man will satisfy Her sexual needs better than i can, but we hope He will also satisfy my sexually submissive needs for a man.

My Wife is excited by the idea and a bit reluctant.

We talked about my being bisexual very early in our relationship, she accepted it and married me and had our babies. The thought of being with a man again is overwhelming and consuming my every thought at times. Impatiently i pleaded with her to let me find a man on the side, just until She found our new husband. She finally relented saying, "If that is what you need, then you go do it. BUT I don't want to see it or hear about it." She went on to say that if i fall in love, i would have to go live with him etc. etc. divorce... There is no way that my need for a penis will ever change my love for Her, i explained.

Should i have taken Her up on Her free pass? i had a wonderful time with two men on Friday night. i feel like a huge weight is lifted off my shoulders as i feel more sexually complete than i have in years.

When i picked her up from work later that night, i felt like dancing with her under the stars. i am soooooo much in love with this Woman.

Openly servicing Her Alpha will be far more satisfying. Her rules about not hearing or seeing might get in the way when She does find him. Or is it as i suspect that She will love us both and be happy that we are satisfying our needs?
 
Time for a reality check!!! Very likely you don't have the same taste in men to date (my husband and I definitely don't). I think both of you need to discuss this more and do a lot more research on what actually works in real life vs the fantasy world. The idea of finding that one person (aka: unicorn) to fulfill you both is just a fantasy that will likely never happen.

Free Pass??? I didn't see a free pass, she said she would divorce you if you fell in love with someone she didn't choose. She basically told you that you are only allowed her leftovers. There is a difference between wanting to be submissive and your wife using that as a way to exact her revenge for some slight, be careful.

My husband is also bi and has spent many years trying to deny it, to himself as much as anyone else. He cheated a number of times when the need got to be too much and he did eventually fall in love with the man he was having an affair with. Ne never imagined that I would understand and be open to what we have now. It is still new, but I recognized a definite change in his happiness once he believed that I was OK with things as long as I knew what was going on (not all the intimate details).
 
I wasn't looking for long term. I was looking for a penis. What we did last Friday was a casual encounter. It had been since 1987 for me.

I have been monogamous since my Wife and i became lovers.
 
I am bi as well,and prefer sex with men. What you are going through is not uncommon. I would be careful and find men on the fly, without the wife's knowledge. It seems as though she is not hip on your desires.
 
So Vajra, you're advising subHubby to cheat on his wife instead of being open and honest? That's kind of the opposite of polyamory. And I read his post as saying she isn't okay with him loving another man but *is* okay with him having sex with one.

subHubby, I do see where your wife offered you a "free pass" by telling you to go ahead and *have sex* with another man if you believed you needed to, as long as you didn't *fall in love* with another man. She'll divorce you if there's love involved; as long as you're only seeing another man for sex, it sounds like she's okay with it.

Openness and honesty are, in my opinion, vital in any situation where someone is having any type of relationship, whether romantic or purely sexual, with more than one partner. I would strongly advise against going behind your wife's back, especially since, if I've read your initial post correctly, she *did* give her consent to you having sex with other men, just not to a romantic relationship with one.
 
I need to make this a little bit more informative with my posts, so I FINALLY edited my signature.

Wife has been a cuckoldress in the past. I have been cuckolded in past marriages. Just getting around to accepting myself as a sub cuckold. Hoping that we can revive her old habits.
 
KC43 said:
So Vajra, you're advising subHubby to cheat on his wife instead of being open and honest? That's kind of the opposite of polyamory. And I read his post as saying she isn't okay with him loving another man but *is* okay with him having sex with one.

subHubby, I do see where your wife offered you a "free pass" by telling you to go ahead and *have sex* with another man if you believed you needed to, as long as you didn't *fall in love* with another man. She'll divorce you if there's love involved; as long as you're only seeing another man for sex, it sounds like she's okay with it.

Openness and honesty are, in my opinion, vital in any situation where someone is having any type of relationship, whether romantic or purely sexual, with more than one partner. I would strongly advise against going behind your wife's back, especially since, if I've read your initial post correctly, she *did* give her consent to you having sex with other men, just not to a romantic relationship with one.
Click to expand...

The quote from his wife was, "If that is what you need, then you go do it. BUT I don't want to see it or hear about it." So, if he sees men and doesn't tell his wife, then he is doing as she wishes.

I know that Debbie and I have received a bad rap here, and I am not sure why. Debbie and I have talked about this, and I believe that we have nothing to offer anyone here.

Many in this community know what is best for others. We just know what has worked and what has been right for us.

We will leave this site because it has become obvious to us that to many of you we are beneath you. And that's fine.

From what I have seen and read, especially in our posts, how we live and what we believe is wrong, or at least that is how many see it here. And to many of you we are a joke. And that is okay, too.

There are a few really good people here on this site. And to those people, I commend you and thank you for your responses to our posts. To the others who are higher than mighty and holier than thou, I wish you the very best. I really do.

We have gone to poly meet-ups and found many people just like many of you on this site. And that is why we don't go to those meet-ups any longer.

It seems that if you live a little of the grid, that you are a bad person. I try not to be judgmental. In this case I have very little choice. I am glad that everyone can live in boxes and fit into what others feel is right, for everyone, but that has never worked for me.

I am glad that the majority of people on this site are perfect. That is a rare find. I am also glad that most everyone here is so "all together" that they don't ever see a need to put others down.

To those of you who have attained GOD status, I ask that you try to be patient with those who haven't quite reached that stage. The majority of us may spend lifetimes trying to achieve that status you have given yourself.

Going forward, we will not bother you with our troubles or questions. I know they are not of your concern.

It is my hope that those of you who have such low self esteem and feel you must put others down or call other people out who go against what you believe will some day take a moment to realize that if you really were as perfect as you think, then you wouldn't be here.
 
Since you've quoted me, I'm going to respond to that...

I did not *say* you were suggesting he cheat; I *asked* if that's what you were suggesting. Clarification, you know? You've clarified that that wasn't what you were suggesting. All well and good.

Not quite sure why you've taken my post as an indication of an overall "bad rap" and a sign that you "have nothing to offer". I understand that you're speaking of the forum in general, but again, you've chosen to single me out in your post by quoting me, so I'm choosing to respond.

This is a forum. On forums, people have opinions. They may or may not agree with you; you may or may not agree with them. Some people are far more opinionated and "I'm right, you're wrong" than others. Some people on here don't get along; I can think of two or three posters whose posts I skim or skip and to whom I won't respond. Some people believe they have the right answer for everyone; others, myself included, share based on our experience but also recognize and state that "right" or "wrong" depends on the individuals involved, not on some grand universal rulebook. Expressing an opinion or judgment is not indicative of believing oneself to be "god", nor is it indicative of having low self-esteem. It's called being a human with a brain.

If you benefit from being here, either receiving or giving advice and feedback, it doesn't make sense to let *some* people drive you away when there are others who seem to be helpful and friendly to you. But that's your choice.

Now ending thread derail; subHubby, I apologize for the sidetrack.
 
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