If you have no desire to be poly, you find no pleasure in poly, you don't find it at all satisfying...WHY are you doing poly?? What do you get out of this?
The problem isn't *just* your bf's double-standard, it's that you Don't. Enjoy. Poly. Not only do you get ick from the idea of him with other women, you have no real desire to fuck other men.
Being a complete pushover will NOT get you the love you want, trust me. I've been there, not that long ago. You SAID you wanted to be monogamous. Now you are betraying your OWN trust by staying with someone who isn't. And you have proven to him that you'll say yes to anything as long as he pleads hard enough.
I've been where you are, not long ago, in fact. I figured I'd been in poly r'ships before, maybe this time would feel different. Nope! I stayed until my self-esteem was shot & we were both miserable.
Eventually, I found myself a mono partner who wants only me. It is, for lack of a better word, amazeballs. I'm honestly pissed at the self from 2 years ago who allowed herself to hope her guy might "choose me," worrying I'd never find a guy who ticked so many boxes. In my heart I knew he was choosing multiple women over THIS woman & that felt all wrong for what I wanted.
Trust me, you will be so much calmer, happier, more fulfilled in a monogamous r'ship if that's where your heart is pulling you. Listen to yourself!!! I assure you it'll be worth it.
The problem isn't *just* your bf's double-standard, it's that you Don't. Enjoy. Poly. Not only do you get ick from the idea of him with other women, you have no real desire to fuck other men.
Being a complete pushover will NOT get you the love you want, trust me. I've been there, not that long ago. You SAID you wanted to be monogamous. Now you are betraying your OWN trust by staying with someone who isn't. And you have proven to him that you'll say yes to anything as long as he pleads hard enough.
I've been where you are, not long ago, in fact. I figured I'd been in poly r'ships before, maybe this time would feel different. Nope! I stayed until my self-esteem was shot & we were both miserable.
Eventually, I found myself a mono partner who wants only me. It is, for lack of a better word, amazeballs. I'm honestly pissed at the self from 2 years ago who allowed herself to hope her guy might "choose me," worrying I'd never find a guy who ticked so many boxes. In my heart I knew he was choosing multiple women over THIS woman & that felt all wrong for what I wanted.
Trust me, you will be so much calmer, happier, more fulfilled in a monogamous r'ship if that's where your heart is pulling you. Listen to yourself!!! I assure you it'll be worth it.
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