I swear people are so freaking stupid. We posted on a dating site about us being polyamorous which no big deal it has others who are also openly poly on it we thought. Well apparently some people can't use freaking google to figure out the meaning and difference of PolyGAMY and PolyAMORY. We got a message from someone on there saying they reported us to our local county general attorney and what we were doing was illegal and we could get our children taken away and jailed. Like wtf! So my question is can they do anything about it just from a dating site? Or should I not worry lol we have enough on our plates with other stuff going on this is like that last thing we need because of someone else's stupidity.
Called the county attorney on us really?
- Thread starter Kittykate
- Start date
If they are invoking Child Protective Services, those guys don't need anything more than someone willing to spread wild rumors. I believe it's fairly general policy for them nationwide to investigate anything brought to their attention. That said, each office has its own priorities; each caseworker sees things differently.
The county attorney, now, they will probably need something more than dating site info. There are lots of laws in different states referring to relationships outside marriage -- alienation of affection, bigamy, polygamy, adultery, to pull a few off the top of my head -- but some never get enforced except in cases of ugly divorces. (Like adultery and alienation of affection). Bigamy refers to the act of legally marrying a second person, usually when neither marriage partner is aware of an existing marriage; it is kind of a case of marital fraud. Penalties vary. Lawyers and judges will want to see marriage certificates in that case. Polygamy seems to vary a bit in its legal definition depending on where you're at. Its penalties also vary.
People in polyamourous relationships have lost their children to the state simply because they are engaging in a non-normative way of living. So have homeschoolers, and mobile lifers, and probably anyone who steps outside the hetero-mono-Christian norm. It's really ugly, actually, and needs, IMHO, to be challenged.
Sorry not to be more reassuring. I would worry more about CPS, in this case, than the law. The law wants proof before it acts; CPS will take rumors, outright lies, and pretty much any random statement from any random person, and seek proof to back it up afterward.
The county attorney, now, they will probably need something more than dating site info. There are lots of laws in different states referring to relationships outside marriage -- alienation of affection, bigamy, polygamy, adultery, to pull a few off the top of my head -- but some never get enforced except in cases of ugly divorces. (Like adultery and alienation of affection). Bigamy refers to the act of legally marrying a second person, usually when neither marriage partner is aware of an existing marriage; it is kind of a case of marital fraud. Penalties vary. Lawyers and judges will want to see marriage certificates in that case. Polygamy seems to vary a bit in its legal definition depending on where you're at. Its penalties also vary.
People in polyamourous relationships have lost their children to the state simply because they are engaging in a non-normative way of living. So have homeschoolers, and mobile lifers, and probably anyone who steps outside the hetero-mono-Christian norm. It's really ugly, actually, and needs, IMHO, to be challenged.
Sorry not to be more reassuring. I would worry more about CPS, in this case, than the law. The law wants proof before it acts; CPS will take rumors, outright lies, and pretty much any random statement from any random person, and seek proof to back it up afterward.
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Oh joy lol. I really hope this gets brushed off or this guy wasn't serious. I just can't believe people would jump to conclusions like that or not ask or just do that to people without knowing the situation or even trying to understand. I will be pissed if CPS comes to my door.
CuriousRon
New member
It's also possible that the person who sent you that message was a "troll" who has sent similar messages to other polys. If the dating site has a forum, you might ask if others have received such messages.
RichardInTN
Member
BS crap like this is why polygamy, and all the steps that CAN (whether they do or not) lead to it, should be legalized.
Polyamory/polygamy doesn't "hurt/damage" the children any more than monogamy (just dating or married) does.
Polyamory/polygamy doesn't "hurt/damage" the children any more than monogamy (just dating or married) does.
Alan M
Member
Resource for problems like this
If the child protective authorities are going to investigate, which I believe they are obligated to do when anyone reports a problem, go immediately to the website of the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense & Education Fund,
sfldef.org
and read their sheet of advice for how to prepare your home for such a visit. (No pet feces, no poisons in reach, sex toys put away, what to say and emphasize, etc.)
You can also write or call the director, Valerie White (a friend of mine).
Child protection people are used to getting exaggerated reports from vindictive people, and if they see no problems and are reassured by their impressions of you and the home, they may quickly decide this is not one to waste their time on.
Alan M.
If the child protective authorities are going to investigate, which I believe they are obligated to do when anyone reports a problem, go immediately to the website of the Sexual Freedom Legal Defense & Education Fund,
sfldef.org
and read their sheet of advice for how to prepare your home for such a visit. (No pet feces, no poisons in reach, sex toys put away, what to say and emphasize, etc.)
You can also write or call the director, Valerie White (a friend of mine).
Child protection people are used to getting exaggerated reports from vindictive people, and if they see no problems and are reassured by their impressions of you and the home, they may quickly decide this is not one to waste their time on.
Alan M.
Thank you so much so far nobody has come to the home or anything so we think it was a troll but we always worry when people say stuff like that. My husband has a daughter from a previous marriage and the ex is very spiteful so we do always have to be careful. I am defiantly going to read up on it though just in case. Our house and kids are very well taken care of so I don't think there will be an issue and we don't have any of our significant others living with us so again no issue with that.