Diffuse a ticking time bomb - or not?

[Marcus]

You should voice your concerns, and let your wife and her boyfriend know that what they are doing is unethical. However, I don't see what you can really DO about it. This is their relationship. Don't be afraid of being a "party-pooper" though; they need to face the fact that they are deceiving they wife and are treating her unfairly.

I would avoid trying to play the morality police with your fellows, but I do agree that a conversation is in order.

If you are uncomfortable enough with the situation, you could set the boundary that you will not be in relationship with someone who is not practicing ethical non-monogamy.

Like PinkPig said, boundary is what is going to be the most helpful if you do not like the situation you are being put in.

For me, this discussion is about backlash instead of what is "ethical". People can take part in what I might consider unethical in relationships, but since they don't work for me, my boundaries are not based on that. My boundaries are based on things that impact my life in ways that I do not want... so I create one, let the appropriate parties know, and then stick to it.

 

[powerpuffgrl1969]

Oh, while I understand that the "ethics" of this situation is very subjective, I think it can be agreed that wife's boyfriend insisting that his wife is a fragile flower, unable to "cope," is disingenuous at best.

He just doesn't want to deal with his wife getting pissed, inconveniencing him.