disconnect in our home, distractions

C

calypsoblu

New member
The guys and I were sitting in the kitchen this a.m. after doing our normal feed the animals, etc we do in the a.m. as usual, everyone was on tablets doing whatevr. Once I was done, I sat quietly waiting for the guys to be done. Didnt happen. I began talking about something and quickly realized I was being ignored. One of the guys looked at me when I was saying something as if he was going to comment back and he didnt, he looked at me and then face was in tablet world. The other guy sat here and the whole time cldnt b bothered to hear me, or acknowledge wht I was saying, only gave me a partial view of his face and a pissy look lk I was disturbing his tablet time. So, I quit talking mid sentence and neither seemed to notice...I got up about 10 mins later and wnt to another part of the house...once again ...no notice.

Right now I am so frustrated and pissed off at them. This crap is everyday, including after they are home from work, till the time we go to bed. I mentioned said behavior and was told it was because they wrk all day and just wnt to tune out n relax once home during the week... but its like this on weekends to. I am really feeling like if I hopped a bus to my sisters they wld only notice bc I am not here doing stuff to mk their lives easier, cooking, laundry..etc... something as simple as taking our dogs out back is a big chore for thm and I can tell by body language and attitude.

Maybe I am just being a bitch atm... but I am so sick of the disconnect.. I might as well be living alone..then I wldnt b getting so pissed off ovr the lack or participation in our home and lives.:confused:
 
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it might help for you to tell them what you want instead expecting them to be mind readers. Maybe they thought you were being rude for interrupting their tablet time? maybe you guys need to have a plan for setting aside technology during certain times a day and spending quality time. but just because you are done doing what you were doing doesnt mean that they're done and they're going to just stop doing what they want to do because you're staring at them or talking to them
 
I guess the first order of business would be to schedule a three-person sit-down. Sometime when all three of you have a few hours to spare, when there isn't going to be a bunch of tiredness, pressure, or crankiness. When everyone's in a good frame of mind, sit down together and discuss this problem.

This problem = too much tablet world.

You need to work out a compromise where they do a little less tablet stuff, maybe still more than you would like but at least a compromise you (and they) could live with. Perhaps you could emphasize weekends as a time for them to cut down on the tablet activity.

Worst case scenario would be them saying, "No, we're not gonna cut down on our tablet activity, not even a little bit." If they do that, then you're gonna have to decide if that's a dealbreaker for you.

Is there something else they could cut down on besides tablet activity that would give them more quality time to spend with you?

Because I don't think the tablets per se are the problem here. Rather, the problem is that you feel like you're not getting enough quality time with your guys. Maybe the three of you could brainstorm for ways to correct that problem.

Internet life is all well and good as long as it doesn't damage our lives with our loved ones with whom we share hearth and home, eh?
 
Sometimes I have a similar issue within our group. When this happens we schedule something called an "Epic Date Day" with everyone included. We turn off all electronics for the day and only spend time with each other doing things everyone enjoys.

For us we will try to go to a festival within a couple hours of us which kind of forces us to reconnect on the car ride and enjoy the festival together. Then we all go to a nice sit-down restaurant after cleaning up when we get home. Dress to impress. After eating we typically go home, relax and snuggle watching a movie together.

It really helps bring everyone together! I must emphasize the turning off electronics such as cell phones. It really helps. We are always sure to notify other partners of what's going on and they always understand, and wish their other partners would do that with them too from time to time.

We wish you the best of luck reconnecting with your family!
 
Are they both mono to you? Frankly they may both want a lot of personal time and expect you to manage your time well between them.
 
Why on earth would you expect someone engrossed in something interesting to read your mind and just know you wanted attention?

It sucks when they do that; I know, my hubby does it all the time (the last two weeks of NRE obsession has made it especially bad lately.)

You know what I did? I said, point blank. "I'm lonely, pay attention to me!"

And guess what? He did.

Communicate. Don't expect them to just do what you want without being told. That's not fair to anyone, least of all you. Don't rely on assumptions and body language. TALK.
 
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