Engaged, But Loving Someone Else...

[PatientPaws]

This all happened quite quickly for me. I've always been open with my relationships. I form close bonds quickly with people-- but never like this.

I'm engaged to my boyfriend of six years, and this past month I've met someone who has turned my world on its head. I truly, whole-heartedly love both of them, but there is no way my fiance would accept this.

For the longest time, I felt wrong for having feelings for another man, disgusted with myself because its not the "norm," but I've accepted who I am. My real concern is how to get others, including my fiance, to accept it, too.

I would love to continue both relationships, but I don't know if it's possible. Advice?

 

[NeonKaos]

A lot has been written on this forum about it already. There are quite a few people in the same situation. Yours is not that unusual.

I suggest you make yourself a snack or a drink, or roll a joint, or whatever it is you do, and relax into browsing and reading the forum for a bit.

 

[HappiestManAlive]

Indeed, yours is (unfortunately) not an unusual position for poly-minded people to find themselves in. The sad thing is how many people are totally wired to accept this line of thinking, but have conditioned themselves out of it, and struggle mightily with it when faced with a situation, be they in your shoes or your fiance's.

There will be a recurring theme to what you read here about these situations, and that is communicate, communicate, communicate. It's simple, really. Is it worth an uncomfortable conversation, or even a fight, to avoid years of bottled-up emotion and resentment? Could you accept his refusing to allow this to continue without bottling up resentment and frustration? And so on.

That's what we're here for...