Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

[Bluebird]

Have i mentioned how much I love LuLaRoe? This skirt is amazeballs. I probably posted it before, but every time I wear it, I feel happy!

My daughter's interview went well and they asked her to come in for a drug test tomorrow. That's a good sign! She got called into work AGAIN today, and it was supposed to be her day off, at her current place. Ugh.

DarkKnight are going out tonight, since he and I will be the only two at home for dinner. PunkRock is off to play Infinity.

 

[Bluebird]

I'm a mermaid y'all! Outline complete. This was another long session for PunkRock. The tentacles wrap around and will be connected to his octopus design on his back. I think my ear is a little too straight, but I think that will be an easy fix with an added strand of hair. I seriously cannot wait until the color and shading is added! I am one bootylicious under the sea babe!

Y'all cannot at all understand the looks of love and devotion I was getting from PunkRock prior to him sitting for this tattoo. I am still in awe at the depth of his care and concern for me! That said, I had a difficult time falling asleep at first last night - I was anxious because someone reported this photo as indecent to Facebook. I think it might have been my sister. I absolutely know that there's no repercussions from that - I had a picture of my cat reported once - it's just ridiculousness. Still, amongst all the happy good feelings, there is always someone that has to make you feel shitty, you know? Anyway, if any of you think this tattoo is crappy, or pornographic, or bad taste - keep it to yourselves. I don't need to hear it. I think it's pretty badass, myself.

Edited to add - my fin isn't pink, that's just irritation from the tattooing process. When it's finished, my tail will be teal green, and the octopus will be purple. The next appointment is a 4-hour outline session, where the tentacles will be completed, at the beginning of June. The artist is then out of town for the summer, but he will be back for color on August 9, which is another 4 hour session.

 

[Bluebird]

So PunkRock's tattoo is healing nicely, and every time I look at it, the happier I feel. It was a great kickoff to our second wedding anniversary on Friday! We've been having a fun weekend in Baltimore.

Friday afternoon I spent out with two lady friends, one of who is moving to Florida in less than two weeks. She is one of my besties, and I will miss her a lot. I will see her again this upcoming weekend though, before she leaves. Anyway, I came home close to 4 pm, woke PunkRock from his after-work nap, and we went to Olive Garden for dinner, and then to see Alien:Covenant. I had just watched Prometheus earlier in the week, so the story flowed well for me, though I was disappointed that it didn't give more of the earth origin story. It was though, a solid Alien movie. I was glad to see the facehuggers and chestbursters back in action.



On Saturday PunkRockAwesomesauce and I spent the early afternoon at IKEA in White Marsh. We needed to get another lamp for his bedroom, since I liked the way the one we purchased previously looked, and I stole it away to use in the living room. Lol DarkKnight took a pic of us before we set off:

Gus wanted to be a model as well:

PunkRock and I actually had lunch at IKEA, because he had never had their Swedish Meatballs, so that was kind of important! We then had an hour to kill so we browsed a Barnes & Nobel and had dessert at a Starbucks there.

Here we are, with me being a little apprehensive, but super excited for our upcoming experience:

But I totally did it! Indoor skydiving was exhilarating! We got 2 free videos of the experience with the package we purchased, but I can't get them to download right on my phone, so I will have to mess with that when I get back home. At $4 a pop, we passed on the photos. Anyway, it was a completely different sort of new experience for the both of us, so it was fun! We did two flights each, and paid for high flights as well. My first flight, I did really well, got into the correct position and it was amazingly fun. The second time I had a bit of trouble, but by the end, I was ok and the instructor actually tacked on an extra high flight for me, and he didn't for anyone else, so that was really neat!

After coming down from that amazing experience, PunkRock drove to our hotel in Jessup (saved a $100 on the cost by going out of the city) and checked in. Then we got back in the car and went to the Cheesecake Factory in Arundel Mills. PunkRock had never been there either, but it's my favorite restaurant! I hadn't been over there since I had gone with M, 3 or so years ago. It was delicious, in spite of the wait. We then spent some time in the Casino. I ended up losing $60, which sucks, but PunkRock walked away with $15. Lol

I had planned on spending $60 total at the casino, so losing it all was ok. What was cool was that rather than PunkRock and I each spending $30, as a new player he got a free mini game as part of a promotion, and he immediately scored $50 in free slot play! His luck there meant I got the entire $60 cash to play on, and he used the casino's staked $50. So that was good.

We snagged a slice of cheesecake each to enjoy back at the hotel together, and were asleep by 11 pm. All that adrenaline from earlier did us in, I think! The two of us woke up at 7 this morning though, hot and bothered for each other. Damn, this man turns me on something crazy!

We're going to miss out on the free breakfast, but soon here we will shower, check out, and spend our day visiting a rock/gem/hippie shop and hopefully successfully navigating an escape room! Can't wait!

 

[Bluebird]

Yesterday was great! We had breakfast at IHOP (yummy French toast for me!) and then hit the hippie shop. The escape room was a lot of fun, and PunkRock & I were the only ones for that time slot. This was both good and bad. We had a lot of fun together, but I believe we would have been able to escape (we failed) with more players.

The game was called Kidnapped, and we started out chained to a metal cot in the center of the room, handcuffed and blindfolded. There was enough slack on the chain to pull off the blindfold, individually, so we managed that immediately. However, we spent a short while, dragging the cot back and forth, because where PunkRock was standing, he had his back to the wall. The key was hanging on a nail directly behind him! I couldn't see through him and he couldn't see behind him, but additional people would have been able to see it. So that was sort of lame, but ok. Some of the puzzles were good, but others didn't make sense within the structure of the scenario, and were later explained to us. Still didn't make much sense! I actually solved a puzzle out of sequence, and that allowed us to get different clues and things out of order, and made us get stuck later on when we didn't have the required early information. The game master said they'd never had that happen.

PunkRock was disappointed that he still hasn't ever won an escape room, but we will try again somewhere else. This place I wouldn't recommend, strictly on the fact that it's in a warehouse and on Sundays, there is no air conditioning. We were locked in a tiny room painted black. We were both exhausted and soaked in sweat after the game!

When we left the escape room, we stopped and had subs for a late lunch. We made it home around 3 pm, and watched the second Pirates of the Caribbean movie together, in PunkRock's bedroom. (We are trying to get them all finished before seeing the new one!) Halfway through the movie, I got incredibly horny for no reason, and we went at each other like a couple of animals. Lol REALLY good sexy fun times! Later we ordered in Chinese and then I spent the rest of the night with DarkKnight, just snuggling and reconnecting with him after being away all weekend.

This morning I wanted some more of PunkRock, but he has a sore penis. I guess he wasn't used to the intensity level, much less going at it twice yesterday at that level of ferocity. Lolol Mmmmm though, damn he is amazing.

 

[Bluebird]

Last day of my period - I hope. Still right like clockwork. I am paying attention now to my feelings and hormones and shit, since I have that upcoming neurologist appointment. A couple of my friends said they think my aphasia is just my "time of life" periomenopause stuff. I am not convinced, as I have no other symptoms of that. So yeah, my periods are still regular as always. My cramps this time through have been less sharp and just more achy in the hips.

I have been emotional the last two days because I am cracking out on the show "This is Us." The very first episode had me coming off the couch at the end, and I'm on episode 15 now. When I say emotional, I mean I get teary at like every single episode. I was kind of cuddly with both of my husbands, but I don't think more so. I have been thinking about my dad a lot more because of this show. It reminds me of Parenthood - which is another show I marathoned a while back and loved.

I have also been unpacking a bit more but I have been feeing really down about lack of progress everywhere in this house. DarkKnight did paint the sunporch doorway trim for me while I was out of town last weekend, but that's all that has happened for a while. I unpacked two boxes of my own crap in DarkKnight's room, and one big Rubbermaid tote finally was emptied in there as well. I sorted some stuff and have a stack of clothes to donate - haha true story, back when I was dating PunkRock, there was a period of time where I would spend half a week at his house and then half a week at DarkKnight's house, so I had to have an entire clothing setup at both locations. I never got rid of the duplicate clothes until now. Like, I have the same exact cami, 2 of them. And so never even wear the one anymore! So yeah, I cleared out a few things.

I started back playing D&D this past Wednesday! I am going to start playing weekly, and that's a great night of the week to do it, since it is PunkRock's day off. This gives him the evening free without me, and I am hoping he will utilize it to play more Infinity. That's what he did this week. It was cool to get back into role playing. It's me, DarkKnight and 4 other dudes. Same DM from when I played before. What's crazy though is that DarkKnight is the only one playing a guy character - it's all girls and a huge bird-person. I think it's strange when men roleplay women but whatever. I know this group so they aren't assholes about it (like, not making up rape storylines or shit like that) so it's all good. . My character is going to be as strong as fuck emotionally, even though she's a warlock and has been having some messed up dreams from her patron lately.

My youngest got hired at the place she applied at recently and had her orientation yesterday. She put in her two week notice at her current job already - it's been sucking so bad for her! She gets called in like everyday. I am going to go shopping with her today for work pants - she needs black dress pants and it is impossible for her to find stuff that works because she is so short and tiny. She went out on her own yesterday but was pretty upset and defeated.

Tonight PunkRock and I have a date night to go see the new Pirates movie. We watched all of the others in the series this week, and I can say that I had forgotten how terrible they really are. Lol Still, I will go and see it. We are going to do dinner and a movie, and so am excited to wear my new skirt - I am going to be smokin hot!

I have been searching for a band or graphic tshirt to complement this, but so far haven't come up with much. I did locate an Alice In Chains Dirt black tee, but the art is heavy on the orange and it may be too much to look at all together so I have not made a purchase yet. Tonight I am thinking I will wear a slinky black cami and short sleeve black button-up blouse with this skirt. We will see what I end up with!

Is anyone else as crazypants as me in the mornings? When I get dressed I sometimes put on 4-5 complete outfits before deciding on something. Generally because I start overthinking things and hating on my body. Example: two days ago I threw this together:

After taking pictures, I felt hella fat and ripped everything off and tried on many other things. I feel like I get into a negative mindset. Looking at this pic now, I think it looked kinda cute, even though it wasn't accessorized yet. Here's what I ended up wearing:

Yes, I had a bow in my hair. lol Ultimately, that bow is what ended up making me feel happy and I could move on and feel confident in my cuteness.

 

[icesong]

I literally have that skirt too, and it looks *really* good with a dark gray shirt, if that helps.

 

[WhatToDo]

I personally think you looked really nice in that first outfit...

 

[Bluebird]

Thanks - I am sure I will wear it another time. I do shit like that every morning - put on something and then decide I look hideous and tear it all off. Sigh.

 

[Bluebird]

Today DarkKnight and I are going shopping. He already has tickets and reservations set up for AwesomeCon in June, but has done zero work on his costumes. Our youngest is going again with him this year, and she has pulled out all the stops and just looks adorable and is ready to go. DarkKnight though has nothing, so I am going out with him today to help him round up his basics for Jayne Cobb.

I already own a Jayne hat and a cap gun. He needs to buy a faded tshirt, cargo khakis, a black nylon gun holster and some combat boots. I am hoping this will all come to less than $100.

Later on today, we are going to a graduation party for one of my daughter's friends, which will also double as a goodbye party since the family is moving to Florida tomorrow. I am pretty bummed out because three of my friends have moved there in the past two years. Sigh. Anyway, I need to get a gift card or something as a present for the kiddo.

I just smacked my head on the bottom of a cabinet door in the bathroom and I kinda wanna cry. Ouch!

 

[SlowPoly]

I just smacked my head on the bottom of a cabinet door in the bathroom and I kinda wanna cry. Ouch!

Literally my superpower.

 

[Bluebird]

OMG I feel like crap today. Just woke up with a very negative mindset. I feel gross and overweight, and still very tired. I got a new (free) skirt in the mail yesterday, so I will probably be super cute later, but right now I am so blah. I need to go back to low carb.

I need to do some shopping today for some ingredients to make a pasta salad and prolly a brocolli salad, for a BBQ tomorrow. It's going to be low key and we aren't inviting anyone, but I still need to buy and make some food.

A quick look at our finances yesterday sent me into shock, so at some point I need to sit down and restructure our budget because I am like $800 less than where I thought we were in the shared account.

What else is going on? Oh, PunkRock starts working overnights on Monday - his job does inventory for two weeks straight and he's on the team for that. As soon as it wraps up, he'll have his carpal tunnel surgery and be off of work for a while. I am not looking forward to it - though it will be fun to have sleepovers every night with DarkKnight for a while!

 

[Bluebird]

I have a short bit of time here so I wanted to update on some relationship work that PunkRockAwesomesauce and I have been doing lately. We've talked a little about my need for some spanking now and then.

I SO very miss the sexual dynamic that WarMan and I had. In the past I had some light bondage and some D/s stuff, but it was never a big part of any relationship I had been in, and definitely DarkKnight was not at all interested in any of that sort of thing. PunkRock told me he had done a bunch with previous partners, but it was never anything that turned him on or that he really enjoyed so he doesn't do it as part of his regular sexual arsenal, as it were. (He told me that when we first started dating.) With WarMan, a Dd/lg dynamic emerged, and holy shit it got me so hot in ways I had never even imagined. I find I am missing that more and more - I think I need a Daddy in my bedroom.

I haven't talked too much with PunkRock about that part of the puzzle piece, as I just don't view him really in that role. If anything, I would LOVE it if DarkKnight were more into that, but we have talked about it, and he isn't. I think I will have more talks with PunkRock - maybe tonight in fact, as we have a sleepover. However, I was telling him that I really feel like I need some spanking and bondage and he said he was totally down to do that for me if I wanted. I am still sort of hesitant though, as from his previous assertion that it isn't really something he is into doing. He told me last night though, that even if it doesn't excite him a lot, if I am into it, he is more than happy to make me happy.

I am not sure that it will work for me long term though, if he isn't into stepping into a Daddy dom sort of role. I am embarrassed to talk to him about that, actually. We just don't have that dynamic at present, so I feel weird about changing things up. I fucking love our sex life now, and I would hate to ruin that. Obviously, if he isn't good at it, things just won't work, you know?

Definitely we will have more conversations here soon.

 

[PinkPig]

I feel you on missing the Dd/lg dynamic. I am submissive. That wasn't Blue's thing...he's more vanilla....but he use to do it for me, at least occasionally. It worked as long as we didn't do it all the time.... it gave him pleasure to give me pleasure. He was in to spanking me which was totally awesome. Now that I'm single, I miss all of that. I've never been with a true Dom. I really want to try it.....but I'd really have to trust the man and that doesn't come easily for me.

I hope the talks with PunkRock go well and your awesome sex life gets even more awesome

 

[Confused]

I think people can grow into a role with practice and can grow to love it with a particular partner even if it's not a need they have independently.
My husband used to feel really awkward taking a dominant role with me and it didn't come naturally but a year or two of him being willing to keep trying and getting the rewards of my happiness and he loves that side of our relationship as much as me now.

Good luck and give it time.

 

[Bluebird]

Well, we didn't end up taking about it because we had sex 3 different times! Lol I don't like to talk about sexual things before, during, or after. It just seems like we would already be charged emotionally. Best to wait when we're not all hyped up, KWIM? And holy hell, were things on FIRE last night!

Kinky stuff just isn't part of PunkRock's arsenal on a regular basis, but wow he doesn't need it to get me off! I don't even know how I managed to walk around today - things were so fucking hot and intense last night. Damn. Like, damn. He definitely deserves that awesomesauce label!

I have no idea what has been triggering my hormones but apparently I am on an upswing right now and my vagina is like, voracious. Lolol

 

[Bluebird]

Had a fun D&D session yesterday, and some new LuLaRoe has been trickling in - I won two pairs of leggings the last couple of days, and had a free pair arrive Tuesday and a free Cassie skirt showed up yesterday. I don't need any more new clothing but I keep winning it. I still only own 5 pairs of leggings because I have regifted everything else. The pair I got earlier this week is also not my style but it's more Christmas-y, so I might hang on to those a bit. The skirt is bright teal blue and I am DEFINITEY keeping that!

Today I have no choice but to work on my budget. I have a guy scheduled to come put up the baseboards in my kitchen. My guys are just too tired after work and have other things going on, and this handyman priced things out reasonably, so we will see how he does. Actually, he's going to come over and tell me if he can do it for the quoted price, and then he may either knock it out today or come back tomorrow. OMG I want this kitchen done so very badly! Baseboards will be a good start. DarkKnight is still working on the cabinet fronts. Sigh.

I have to do laundry today as well. Bleh.

Here's a picture of 5 of our 6 cats, last night at dinner:

Of course, Stormy is still anti-social and stays in the basement. This is Gus, Milton, Stuart, ColePorter and Leonard. This morning I woke up with Leonard and Milton fighting over who got to snuggle me. Milton won, and slept curled up next to my heart for about 2 hours. When he vacated, Leonard returned and he's currently purring on my hip. Yes, I am still in DarkKnight's bed, even though it's like 12:30 pm. I am not sure why but I woke up feeling incredibly lethargic - you know, like after you've given blood, or it's your period on a hot day? I just feel so sleepy and ugh. I am getting up now though, because I really do have to pay bills and get ready for the handyman to show up.

I colored my hair yesterday. I almost didn't, because my undercut was completely white and gray and I thought it looked amazing. However, the roots with my red just wasn't working. I won't be keeping all gray before I am even 40, though I have actually been so since age 18! Maybe I will try rocking that look in a few years though!

 

[Bluebird]

DarkKnight and I had a fun date last night - we went to see Wonder Woman. Hands down, best super hero movie in a looooong time. I really enjoyed it. I have to say too, I am super straight, but damn. Even I would worship the chick that played Wonder Woman. Sexy and badass. After the movie, we ended up at Buffalo Wild Wings, and had dinner on the patio there. Wewere surrounded by rose bushes, so that was actually really nice.

I still haven't had time to talk to PunkRock about our sex life. Honestly he and I have been super in sync with each other this week - we had an amazing time together before he left for work last night. It was a quickie, but he never leaves me hanging! Just, yum! Actually, I had a really fun session with DarkKnight the other night too, which I think was after a month-long hiatus. I don't pressure him at all anymore, since we had that one talk about his drive. I've kinda come to peace with him just not being horny. When we do get together, it's always really good, so I don't have any complaints. I do wish it was more, but we love each other and he never makes me feel undesirable, so I am happy.

Today, my son is here, along with PunkRock's friend from work - the one we played Pandemic with - and they are working on ripping apart what is left of the basement. There is no longer any separation between the spaces - the master bedroom is wide open. We are going to put a new wall up after the floor is installed later this month. I will take some pics when they are finished tonight! Anyway, they are almost done pulling off all of the paneling and the carpet is gone. Tomorrow DarkKnight's cousin will be here, and I think they will be painting on the drylock then. DarkKnight is actually working on my kitchen cupboards right now. He deserves accolades - god I hope those are finished this month!

I think that PunkRockAwesomesauce, his friend, his friend's new girlfriend and I might go on a double date tomorrow night. They were planning on seeing Wonder Woman and PunkRock hasn't seen it yet. He wasn't super enthusiastic about it until everyone started telling him how great it was. Plus, you know, double date.

This morning DarkKnight and I went to a bunch of yard sales. I got a like-new Pack and Play for $5. Now, yes, normally this is to contain a baby, but it will also be perfect for corralling little kittens when we are able to foster again. I also bought a couple of vintage Christmas candle blow-outs for the front yard when that season comes around (do a google search). I bought my youngest some new sandals and a fake leather jacket too. DarkKnight got himself a Millennium Falcon playset for $1. I love yard sales! Lol

I don't think I have any new photos to share at the moment. Let me look real quick...

Eh. Ok, here I am this morning before setting out to the yard sales. DarKnight broke my mirror the other day and he promises to get me a new one tomorrow. His room got cleaned this afternoon too - we had to move Stormy (PunkRock's cat) in there since the basement is under construction tonight. Or should I say deconstruction? Lol I think I am going to go back on my low carb diet next weekend.

My daughter's cat Stuart had a birthday this week, and she threw him a party. Three of the other cats came. Lolol Stuart is 12 now, which makes him the second oldest - Stormy is 14. Anyway, we love him lots! Clockwise from front, Leonard, Milton, Stuart, ColePorter.

Here is my baby, Leonard. Just because.

 

[Bluebird]

Wow, last night was kinda...worrisome. The paneling is all torn down now in the basement. I am so thankful that part of the renovation is done.

That photo was taken standing at the edge of what used to be the basement kitchen. The next one I took while I was on the far side of the kitchen, actually a little earlier in the evening before cleanup was complete.

Today DarkKnight's cousin will be here. The walls will be getting scraped with a wire brush and then drylocked. I saturated a large part of the newly uncovered wall with bleach-water. We uncovered some really scary stuff! I was texting with our contractor for about an hour to plan our next steps.

The door leads into the existing bathroom, to the left. Next year, the bathroom will be gutted and expanded to be all the way over to the edge of the window it is currently covering. That window will actually be enlarged this year and a replacement window that actually opens and closes (and doesn't leak) will go there. If you look in the other photos, you can see the other wall to the bathroom, which will also be knocked down and then extended into the space to enlarge the shower. This bathroom is waaaay too tiny as it exists, and it is currently my least favorite part of my house. Anyway, I have to talk to someone and look online about spacing and planning a bathroom remodel. But that is a year out. More immediate issues came to light - literally - when the paneling was all removed.

The window on the right side wall is the one that our contractor is making into an egress window. The paneling in this corner had visible mildew on it, so when we did our home inspection, the assumption was that both of the windows on this side were leaking due to their rotting frames. We knew this was an issue. And yep, when we pulled off the paneling, we had some mold on the cinderblock. The bleach-water will take care of that, so it isn't a huge concern. However, what is a problem is that we uncovered cracks in the foundation.

This is the egress window. You can see on the bottom right corner we have some stair-step mortar cracks. This is not a huge problem and an easy fix - they aren't deep, and it's a normal result of settling and some water intrusion in a 1959 house. However, that stair-step crack over on the side is a MAJOR fucking problem. Check it:

Yeah, we've got some serious movement. At the top we can actually see daylight shining through. The water issue is coming from this. Our contractor is checking with his concrete guy over the next few days, and we will probably have to hire a structural engineer for peace of mind. Right now my contractor is saying not to freak out too much. He said that his initial feeling is that we will be able to deal with this problem without too much extra added expense. He was already going to remove at least one column of cinder blocks to widen the space for the egress window, which will now start with the one that has shifted so much. Basically he thinks that the soil pressure has increased over the years and has pressed against this section of the wall. Digging out the egress well there will relieve a great deal of the existing pressure, and he can address drainage there - usually in cases like these the soil is retaining water and then freezing and unfreezing with the natural seasonal cycles, so we will be able to address all of that through the already planned egress window process.

How much fortifying and patching or block replacement we will need to do over here will depend on several factors, and in the best case scenario, adding the egress window and removing a lot of the soil will allow us to not have to replace much at all. Apparently there are carbon fiber strips that can be added directly along the wall to strengthen up and add support to the area.

We will see. It was a huge shock to see this huge ass crack. We have no recourse either - inspection guy would not have seen it as it was hidden behind paneling. The homeowners are deceased and their kids more than likely had no idea this was there either - they sold the house as is, and they all live in another state. Ugh. So this is our fun discovery to deal with right now.

 

[Bluebird]

It's raining! I woke up early, well, ok, not really. More like 9 am, but it felt early since PunkRock and I didn't get to bed until 3 am last night. He was busy painting drylock on the bottom 1/4 of the basement walls and the floor perimeter. He has to do another coat today - I will get a picture at some point. After that second coat is on, we are ready to have the floor installed. OMG I need this done so bad. lol Anyway, after PunkRock finished up with the drylock, he showered and then I encouraged him to fuck me silly, which he did with much fanfare and excitement. lololol I was amazed he was willing since he had been working nonstop all day.

Tonight I will be back for another whole week of sleepovers with DarkKnight, because PunkRock will be back to the night shift for inventory again. This is his last week of work before his surgery. I am getting nervous because I still have no idea when his disability payments will start or even how the process will go. This makes budgeting difficult, and with the $1500 being spent on the floor this month, that's kind of a big deal.

I spent hours yesterday messing around with websites, trying to plan out our entire basement remodel with more detail. It was a shock to discover that I had measured something incorrectly last year, and that instead of being able to fit 4 bookcases in the open gaming section of the basement, we can only actually fit two. So I was in a scramble, having to re-measure everything, and then try out different ideas on some graph paper. Right now the big issue is the master bedroom closet and the bathroom expansion down there - because of the foundation issues, we may have to make the closet half the size, which means we will lose the walk-in feature, and the pathway into the bathroom. It depends on the measures we will need to take on the big crack we unearthed the other day - when we enlarge the window for egress, the plan was always to widen it to the right of things. If we are replacing the blocks and such to the left - that is into the closet space, and we can't have a window in the closet. To be a legal bedroom egress, it can't be inside a closet. Soooo, the only thing we could do is either make the closet smaller so the window is still in the sleeping section of the bedroom, or we can spend more money. So, right now I am operating under the assumption we will spend the money.

Anyway, the existing bathroom is 5'5" x 6'1". TINY. I hate this space SO much. We are going to be ripping EVERYTHING out, and the change in fixtures will result in big bucks being spent because we will have to jackhammer into the concrete pad. First though, we have to figure out how to fit everything into the new space. The bathroom will become 8' x 10' and it will be gaining a window. (The one shown covered by the existing door in a photo I posted previously.) I think I am going to have to talk to someone who actually designs bathrooms as a job, because I want so much in this space and I am having trouble with my little cut out toilet and vanities that I made. lol The main focus is going to be a custom 2-person shower with a wide bench. PunkRock and I need some play space! From what I have read online, the standard size for this is 4x6, but I am not sure if that will be ok.

OMG though. There is so very much to do in the basement before it starts looking like a place someone is living. With all the paneling and flooring gone, it looks like a dungeon...which, now that I think about it, we should take advantage of while it lasts!

DarkKnight worked his ass off yesterday too, and he says that all of my kitchen cabinet doors are now completely painted and ready for installation! I am so excited for this! We bought all the new pulls and hinges way back in January, so I have been waiting a while. DarkKnight's cousin canceled on us yesterday, but I think the plan now is for him to show up on this coming Saturday, and the two of them are going to put all the doors up, and finally do my baseboards in the kitchen too. The handyman I had hired never fucking showed last week - he messaged me about car trouble and rescheduling, but meh. Anyway, once the baseboards and cabinets are complete, the only thing left to do in the kitchen is paint touchups and the sunporch floor transition. We bought the threshold, but it just needs to be installed. Hmmmm, maybe I can convince DarkKnight and his cousin to squeeze that bit in too. There is an end in sight on my kitchen and I am really jazzed about it.

 

[Bluebird]

I had hibachi out the other evening with PunkRock, and we had a brief discussion in the car afterward about sex. More of a conversation than an in-depth discussion. I told him that I am very happy with our sexual frequency, and that I have not, and have never had any complaints with how compatible we are. It has been so wonderful lately! I did tell him again though, that I really felt like want more as far as a DD/lg situation, and I am uncertain about how that would work out with him.

He said that he just doesn't see himself in that role with anyone. He said he just isn't into role play and such. I am glad he is able to be open about that - and to be fair, that's the same thing he said to me back when we started dating years ago. And, yeah, I have never felt like I could see him in that role with me. Our relationship is just not that way.

I feel good that we have talked more about this, because I don't feel like I was wrong in thinking that this isn't the sort of dynamic I really want with my husband, and his words kind of put me at ease with that. I am happy, and he is happy, and I think trying to add this into the mix would be a wrong step between us.

Of course, that still leaves me wanting a relationship where I can explore this. I am not interested right now in searching for someone - I have the summer off at the moment, and I don't want to spend that time dating! And honestly, I am not sure I am even interested in dating. I am thinking I want an experienced guy who would be interested in a long term meet-up FWB sort of relationship. How often? I don't know. A couple of times a month? At the moment, I am going to let the idea slide, as I have been since I split with WarMan. I am not interested in turning back on OKC - honestly, I think attending a couple of local munches might be the way to go, when I do start looking for this new dynamic. We'll see.