Gf wants exclusive rights to my bed.

[Dagferi]

Take control of your life, for goodness sake. Do not give her a month to adjust.

 

[YouAreHere]

God knows I've needed time to adjust to things, but this feels like the *same* thing, just different forms. Sometimes, even I just need to rip off the bandaid so I can move forward and not stay in the same holding pattern.

 

[IndieSolo]

I can't allow myself to be controlled anymore and I don't want to control anyone else.

I am not a possession that can be molded to fit her every insecurity.

I don't think our relationship can continue happily or grow with the idea that we can control each other.

She can stand by me in this, or, if she feels it is detrimental to her self respect, she can make the decision for herself to move on.

These statements are very much indicative of your self-awareness. Brava, smart girl!

I told her I am willing to compromise on this situation, but the controlling behavior will not be tolerated anymore.

It's great that you said that, but how will you back it up? It is likely she will try to get away with some form of control to test you and see how serious you are when you say that. So, what will be the consequences if she falls back into controlling behavior? You need to make that clear for both yourself and her.

*1 month transition period to get used to not having ownership of my bed

But she doesn't have ownership of it, it's your bed. What's there to "get used to?" This is a bit of coddling you're doing, IMO. I think she needs the Band-Aid ripped off. Time to pull her head out of the sand and shake off her fantasy illusion of monogamy with you, and face reality!

* I'll buy new bedding
* We can set up a sleep area elsewhere for her if she needs it.
* I can sleep at her house.

Sleep at her house how often? You need to be more specific.

I hope your talk goes well. Keep us posted.

 

[bookbug]

But to her I am the one hurting it by not "just giving in" to "this one thing," but will it ever just be this "one thing"?

I can tell you that it will always be "just one more thing." I have experienced it first hand. I was part of a budding triad. It seemed fantastic initially. But for reasons no one could ever ascertain, the wife suddenly became insecure and jealous. In an effort to give her time, over the course of several months, she "one more thing'ed" us to the point that her husband and I could not have even a semblance of a romantic relationship. NOTHING ever quelled her insecurities.

Finally at one point, the husband said to her that she would eventually disallow us from even having a friendship. She looked incredulous. Why would she ever do that? In just a few months, she did, though.