anamikanon
New member
This.
+
I think the issue is not so much that she needs a drink or few to have sex with you, but more that she spoke with your husband rather than tell you.
Perhaps she is wired like that. Perhaps the drinking is or is not a problem per se, just something she enjoys or finds helpful. Perhaps she is off meds and substituting with booze.... all that is peripheral. There is something about your relationship she discusses with your husband but not you. That, right there, is the problem, in my view.
This seems to be a pattern. You've brought up issues you've had with her in the past - things that bothered you that you told us, but hadn't discussed with her. She needs a drink or two to have sex with you. She tells your husband, but not you. And so on. This is not the sign of an intimate relationship. I understand that on occasion you need to talk to someone else, but as a general pattern, I believe that others should not have more confidential information about a relationship than the actual people involved. Even in a triad, what she feels for you should be known to you first, even if she shares with others. And so on. Your relationship with her, to me sounds like a relationship in trouble and seeking intimacy elsewhere. On both sides.
If I remember previous threads right, this relationship (you and her) is sounding really ..... odd. A a lot of compromises held together for the sake of..... what?